Title: When “Good Habits” Become a Breeding Ground for Depression, Have You Fallen Victim?
Introduction:
“Life is not worth it”, “The world kisses me with pain, but I respond with a song”, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the next one will taste like.” Behind these popular internet phrases, how many people feel bitter and helpless? In this era of intense competition and long working hours, where the culture of overwork is prevalent, each of us is striving hard, fearing being left behind by the waves of time. However, in this marathon without a visible finish line, have we neglected our own mental well-being?
In today’s society, people are facing unprecedented levels of mental stress, and mild depression has become a common psychological ailment among urban dwellers. However, many are unaware that some seemingly positive behaviors and thought habits have unknowingly turned into a breeding ground for depression. The persistence of these “good habits” can deepen and accelerate the development of depression.
In particular, individuals with the following three types of “good habits” must be given attention, hoping you have none of them.
01: Fragile and Sensitive, Overthinker
Xiaolin, a 28-year-old white-collar worker, serves as a designer in a well-known company. She is diligent in her work, pays attention to details, and often makes repetitive modifications for a minor design element. While her colleagues praise her professionalism, only Xiaolin herself knows that this perfectionism is slowly consuming her inner self.
One day, Xiaolin’s design proposal was rejected by the client in a meeting. Although her supervisor comforted her that it’s common, Xiaolin fell into a spiral of self-doubt. She started repeatedly questioning whether she was suitable for this job, whether she should switch to another industry. On the nights, tossing and turning in bed, she kept replaying every detail of the meeting in her mind.
“Am I really not good enough?” Xiaolin murmured to herself, “Maybe I shouldn’t be in a creative field at all.”
These traits of being fragile, sensitive, and prone to overthinking are common features of individuals with mild depression. They are more sensitive to negative emotions such as difficulties and setbacks, prone to worry, irritability, and even pessimism. This fragility and sensitivity make them more likely to feel dejected and self-blaming when facing the ups and downs of life.
Xiaolin’s friend Xiaomei noticed her distress and decided to help her.
“Linlin, do you know? Your sensitivity is actually an advantage,” Xiaomei said gently, “it allows you to notice details that others overlook. But, we need to learn to control this sensitivity, rather than being controlled by it.”
Xiaomei suggested Xiaolin to try mindfulness meditation, to observe her thoughts without being ruled by them. Gradually, Xiaolin started building a positive mindset, cultivating her psychological resilience. She learned to maintain sensitivity while giving herself some breathing space.
02: Kindhearted but Weak, Repeatedly Concede
Wang Yang, a 35-year-old high school teacher, is known for his kindness and patience. However, this kindness often turns into a burden.
Once, Wang Yang’s colleague Xiao Zhang asked him to substitute a class. Although Wang Yang’s schedule was already full, he reluctantly agreed. As a result, he had to stay up late for preparation and appeared extremely exhausted the next day in class.
“Teacher Wang, you look very tired,” a student asked with concern.
Wang Yang forced a smile, “It’s nothing, maybe I didn’t sleep well last night.”
This behavior of being kindhearted but weak and repeatedly conceding stems from an overprotective and erroneous mechanism in the minds of those with depression. They wish to maintain harmonious relationships by avoiding conflicts and making concessions. However, this “good habit” unintentionally magnifies the impact of depression.
Wang Yang’s wife Li Fang couldn’t bear to see this anymore and decided to have a talk with him.
“Yangyang, do you know? Your kindness is a good thing, but excessive concession will only harm yourself,” Li Fang said seriously, “you need to learn to say ‘no,’ it’s not selfish, it’s self-protection.”
Encouraged by Li Fang, Wang Yang started to uphold his personal boundaries and limits. He began to learn to refuse unreasonable requests at the right time, and gradually, he noticed a significant improvement in both his work and life quality.
03: Blaming and Procrastinating, Stagnant in Action
Chen Ming is a recent graduate, although well-educated, his job search process was not smooth. Faced with repeated failures, he began to complain about the unfairness of society and the impracticality of school education.
“Why can’t I find a job? Is today’s society too brutal?” Chen Ming often complained.
This mentality of blaming and procrastinating, being stagnant in action, is another manifestation of mild depression. Depressed individuals tend to complain and blame, attributing their misfortunes to external injustices. This habitual thinking leads them to avoid and escape from their own problems, trapping them in an endless cycle of complaints.
Chen Ming’s roommate, Xiao Wang, couldn’t stand by and decided to give him some advice.
“Ming, have you ever thought that instead of complaining about society’s unfairness, it’s better to use that energy to improve yourself?” Xiao Wang earnestly said, “After each failed interview, have you seriously reflected on the reasons?”
Encouraged by Xiao Wang, Chen Ming started to reflect on his actions. He realized that complaining doesn’t solve problems, it only intensifies his depressive emotions. So, he began actively preparing for interviews, enhancing his skills. Gradually, his job search journey began to take a turn for the better.
Conclusion:
I believe no one wants to identify themselves as a depression patient; everyone aspires to a healthy life. Therefore, we must eliminate the above-mentioned three types of “good habits.”
Having sensitivity is a good thing, but too much can lead to fragility; kindness is a noble quality, but excessive can turn into weakness; being self-reflective instead of blaming is a sign of maturity, but too much can lead to procrastination and avoidance. Everything should be done in moderation, as excessiveness is never beneficial, and this is the key idea.
Those who suffer from depression are kind individuals. However, they should not turn this rare quality into a tool that injures them, clouding their lives with dark clouds. Treat yourself well, let others know how you prefer to be treated, and you’ll attract love and care in the same way.
Remember, in the darkest places, there must be a light that needs to be lit. This light is within ourselves. Let us join hands to illuminate the brightness within our hearts, dispelling the shadows of depression, and welcoming a brighter tomorrow.
