“Home is the harbor of the soul.” This phrase has been the most beautiful longing for home since ancient times. However, when love is no longer as it once was, the warmth of home can also become a burden, even a form of escape. The changes in a man often hide in seemingly inconspicuous daily behaviors; they are like small cracks that gradually erode the foundation of marriage. When we notice various abnormalities after he returns home, perhaps that is a sign of emotional deterioration.
One, cold words and a picky attitude
Once upon a time, his smile was like the warm sun of spring, filled with tenderness and tolerance. But now, at the moment he pushes open the door, the air seems to have solidified a little. His words are no longer warm; instead, they are filled with endless pickiness and blame. “Why didn’t you put your shoes away again?” “Why is this meal so poorly cooked?” Every sentence is like a sharp blade, cutting through the already fragile emotional bond.
As Eileen Chang said: “Love is not complicated; it is merely three words: it is either ‘I love you’, ‘I hate you’, or ‘forget it’, ‘how are you’, or ‘I’m sorry’.” When “I love you” is replaced by “you’re not good enough”, that once-passionate love has quietly faded. He begins to build a heart wall with indifference and pickiness, isolating himself from the outside world.
Two, retreating to a room and refusing to communicate
After dinner should be a time for family to sit together and share the warmth of daily trivialities. But he hurriedly puts down his dishes and heads straight to his room, the door gently closing behind him, leaving only silence and confusion. He immerses himself in the world of his phone or games, ignoring the calls of his family, as if that small space has become his refuge from reality.
A line from the movie “Marriage Story” is thought-provoking: “We used to love each other so much, why do we not even want to talk now?” Communication is the bridge that maintains emotional bonds, while escaping from it is the beginning of emotional distancing. He chooses to seal himself off, unwilling to face the cracks in reality, and even more reluctant to put in the effort to repair them.
Three, avoiding contact and sleeping separately
In the stillness of night, it should be a time for two to cuddle and share a peaceful moment. But now, he begins to find excuses to sleep separately or claims he is too tired from work, preferring to sleep alone in the guest room. The distance between bodies often reflects the gulf between souls. Once intimate, it has now turned into “respect from a distance”.
I remember Haruki Murakami wrote in “Norwegian Wood”: “Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” Similarly, the disappearance of love is not an overnight event; it is the result of countless moments of neglect and indifference accumulating over time. When physical contact becomes sparse or even deliberately avoided, that once enduring love dims like the brightest star in the night sky, gradually fading away.
In the face of these changes, we may feel heartbroken, helpless, or even want to escape. But please remember, love is a matter between two people, requiring mutual effort and nurturing. If you notice these abnormalities after he returns home, perhaps bravely facing it and trying to communicate deeply with him to understand each other’s genuine thoughts would be beneficial. Perhaps together, you can find the root of the problem and navigate through this emotional valley hand in hand.
If all efforts are in vain, then learn to let go, giving yourself and each other a chance for a fresh start. After all, everyone has the right to pursue happiness, and true happiness should not be built on coercion and pain.
In the world of love, there are no absolute rights or wrongs, only growth and understanding. May we all have the courage to face the changes in love, and regardless of the outcome, continue to move forward with a peaceful and determined heart.
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