“Life would be great if it were always like the first meeting; why must the autumn wind weep over the painted fan?” This line by Nalan Xingde encapsulates the myriad changes and helplessness of emotions in the world. In the realm of marriage, the sweetness and passion of the initial encounter are often tempered by the passage of time. Some couples move forward hand in hand, with deep affection; while others, due to one party’s confusion and neglect, allow what should be a warm harbor to become turbulent. Today, I will recount a story from the perspective of an observer about a confused man and his wife in marriage, hoping to remind those still wandering in the fog to cherish the person before them and not wait until old age to lament emptily.
My name is Li Yue, and I am someone who enjoys listening to stories. Today, the tale I want to share slowly flowed from the lips of my neighbor, Aunt Zhang. Aunt Zhang is well-known in our community for her warm heart, but recently, there has always been a hint of barely perceptible sadness in her eyes.
“Xiao Li, why is marriage so difficult?” Aunt Zhang sighed as she sat on the stone steps outside my door. The afterglow of the setting sun cast a gentle light on her face, softening it, yet unable to mask the traces of time.
I handed her a cup of hot tea and gently asked, “Aunt Zhang, are you thinking about Uncle Wang again?”
Uncle Wang is Aunt Zhang’s husband, a man who appears ordinary to outsiders but has his own unique understanding of family. Their story is a common topic of conversation in the community, and it has provided me with a profound insight into the complexity of marriage.
“Yes, that old man has just lived his life too confused,” Aunt Zhang said, her voice carrying both helplessness and a hint of resignation. “He always thinks that a man should strive outside and enjoy life at home, leaving all the household matters to me.”
When Uncle Wang was younger, he was indeed competent, working hard and earning a living for the family. But as the years went by, he seemed to misplace this competence. He never bothered with household chores; he was always absent for the children’s education; even when Aunt Zhang needed him, he often chose to evade under the pretext of being busy with work.
“I remember once, when I was sick and hospitalized, he came to see me with just an apple in hand, saying a colleague gave it to him,” Aunt Zhang said, her lips curling into a bitter smile. “At that moment, I felt a mix of emotions. I knew he worked hard, but I also needed his care and companionship.”
Aunt Zhang’s narration reflects many truths of marriage like a mirror. On the scale of marriage, when one party continues to give while the other remains indifferent, the balance will inevitably tip.
“He always says that a man should strive for success outside, and having me handle the household is enough.” Aunt Zhang shook her head, “But he doesn’t realize that home needs to be managed by both people. His kind of ‘confusion’ chills my heart and fills me with concern for the days to come.”
As time went on, Aunt Zhang and Uncle Wang’s marriage seemed to have become a habit, a habit that lacked warmth. Aunt Zhang continued to silently bear all family responsibilities, while Uncle Wang remained immersed in his own world, oblivious to his wife’s contributions.
Until one day when Uncle Wang retired, he suddenly discovered how unfamiliar he had become with this home. The children had grown up and had their own lives; Aunt Zhang seemed no longer to need him as she once did. He began to feel lonely and realized that he had missed far too much over the years.
“Now I understand that marriage is not a solo performance, but a duet,” Uncle Wang said to Aunt Zhang on an unexpected occasion. “I was too confused before, thinking that earning money to support the family was enough, while neglecting your feelings and the warmth of home.”
However, time does not forgive. The missed moments can’t be reclaimed. Although Aunt Zhang forgave Uncle Wang, the gap that had accumulated due to long-lasting neglect remained like an insurmountable chasm between them.
“Xiao Li, I share this with you because I hope you can understand that in marriage, a man can’t be too confused.” Aunt Zhang’s gaze was filled with hope. “What a woman needs isn’t just material satisfaction, but emotional care and companionship. If a man treats his wife like this all the time, he will face worries in old age.”
