“The aging population” has brought about a problem that cannot be ignored.
What should children, especially only children, do when their parents fall ill? This has gradually developed into a societal issue.
An only child born in the 1980s shared their feelings online.
“I can’t hold on anymore, I’m going crazy.”
“If this continues, my mom might be gone before me.”
“After my dad passed away, I couldn’t sleep well for a month, I miss him so much.”
After the father fell ill, he wrote down his firsthand experiences and feelings of accompanying him in the hospital, unexpectedly sparking a resonance among many.
What kind of difficulties do children face after their parents fall ill?
1. Mental stress
Obsessed with the parents’ illness, unable to accept the imminent departure of parents, watching loved ones weaken day by day, engulfed in anxiety and sorrow, accumulating grief.
Torn between treatment options, fearing regret no matter the choice, small hospitals may delay treatment, large hospitals lack resources; worried about the effectiveness of domestic medicines, unable to afford imported ones…
On one side are sick parents, on the other are one’s job, family, children, juggling between them for a long period, exhausted.
Relatives and friends are all critics, unreliable, a slight misstep may lead to moral coercion.
After the parents pass away, sadness and depression linger, unable to break free from self-blame, regret, and yearning.
2. Economic pressure
Money flows like water in the hospital, 99% problems solved with money, the remaining 1% requires even more money. Although there is medical insurance, many items are not covered, reminders for payment arrive within days, caregiver fees, transportation costs, hidden expenses of social obligations and resources are also increasing.
3. Caregiving stress
Beds are scarce in large hospitals, some stay in corridors, some in hotels, eating poorly, sleeping poorly, utterly exhausted.
As both parents are aging, caring for one while consoling the other, once both fall ill, everything collapses.
Stubborn and inflexible, with some tasks beyond capacity, still insisting on doing them, diminishing the efforts, adding more trouble for the children.
Sick parents become selfish, only thinking about themselves, lacking understanding towards their children, sometimes venting their pain on others.
Non-cooperative, hard to attend to. Want treatment, but lack self-discipline, skipping Western medication when too many; refusing to drink bitter Chinese herbal medicine; wanting to stay home after being admitted to hospital, staying a few days then demanding to go back home.
The difficulties when parents fall ill are not just a heavy blow but rather daily life struggles, piling up like a mountain, eventually crushing the children.
Anxious and stressed, converging into a swamp that consumes one’s spirit and life, unable to break free under the tug of love, and unable to break free altogether.
With the aging population trend, the generation of only children will have at least 4 elderly people above them, 1-3 children below them, and their own career – how will they cope?
