When tutoring children, Wang Jie found that the child always made changes in the exercise book, spending half a day but not even finishing writing the new characters. Wang Jie was somewhat puzzled by the child’s behavior. “You were writing well, why erase and rewrite it?” Upon hearing her mother’s question, the child helplessly expressed, “I wrote it too ugly just now, I want to rewrite it to make it look better.”
Evidently, the child’s logic made it difficult for Wang Jie to understand. “You should pay attention when writing the next one! Erasing and rewriting like this is a waste of time; it will also delay you during exams,” Wang Jie advised.
Although Wang Jie’s advice made sense, the child still couldn’t resist erasing the well-written Chinese characters and rewriting them.
1. What is the “perfect sensitive period”?
From an adult’s perspective, this may seem like a child’s tantrum, as not every piece of cookie is perfectly intact, nor every toy neatly arranged. However, from the child’s perspective, this is a process of self-realization, where the child deepens their understanding of “self.”
2. What are the characteristics of children in the “perfect sensitive period”?
Yun Heng participated in a variety show with his father, where the little one’s performance charmed the audience. While netizens adored Yun Heng’s cuteness, he had his own thoughts. With strong communication skills, in the process of parenting, Du Jiang often found it challenging to handle Yun Heng’s demands.
For instance, during a photoshoot, Du Jiang couldn’t convince Yun Heng to wear the shoot outfit. Yun Heng cried saying “the outfit is not nice,” leaving Du Jiang at a loss, and only with the help of Huo Siyan could he manage the situation. Finally, with his mother’s comfort, Yun Heng gave in to his persistence and finished the shoot smoothly.
When the child’s thoughts are not complied with by the parents, children in the perfect sensitive period are likely to have an emotional breakdown. The child’s overly persistent reactions may easily make parents think of “OCD.” However, while the child’s behavior and OCD have fundamental differences, there are significant similarities in their behavior.
Children have certain standard requirements for many things, for example, a cookie not being perfect enough might make the child disapprove. The child’s high demands often lead to distress, putting the child’s emotions on the edge of breakdown. The child’s pursuit of perfection makes parents and themselves distressed.
Children in this stage become particularly fond of refusal, often saying “no,” and parents’ responses may not satisfy them. Children may also not cooperate with parents’ settings, having their own ideas and showing clear persistence.
When children have overly perfectionistic actions, parents should not see this as the child being willful. Harsh treatment will only make the child more emotionally tense, which is unhelpful in smoothly overcoming the “perfect sensitive period.”
3. How should parents help children navigate the “perfect sensitive period”?
When a child is in the “perfect sensitive period,” they are internally conflicted, and their emotions become hypersensitive. At this point, parents should accept the child’s emotions and actions to help the child maintain emotional equilibrium, pulling them out of helplessness.
When a child is constrained by the “perfect sensitive period,” parents can choose to adapt appropriately. This will stabilize the child’s psychological state, and the feeling of having their preferences respected will give the child a sense of security. Therefore, parents should not easily disrupt the order in the child’s eyes, allowing the child an opportunity for their preferences to be acknowledged.
Perhaps the child’s obstinacy will bring parents trouble, but parents must not show excessive annoyance towards the child. Parents’ tolerance will help the child smoothly pass through this anxious stage, enabling the child to develop self-preferences and awareness.
There are various sensitive periods in a child’s growth, which facilitate the child’s development. Therefore, parents should not see this as an educational burden but as an educational opportunity. Adapting to a child’s natural growth rhythm is more conducive to their mental development. How do you respond to children’s behavior during the “perfect sensitive period”?
