A Qing is a first-year high school girl. Her parents are businesspeople, and she is introverted and well-behaved. Since childhood, she has excelled academically, and her parents have high expectations for her with strict upbringing. After entering middle school, she devoted herself to her studies and had little communication with her classmates. She rarely watched television, believing it was a waste of time, and sometimes felt guilty after watching. Since entering high school, despite her continuous efforts in studying, her grades have been declining, now ranking 31st in her class.
Her parents are eager for her to succeed and are very anxious about her declining grades. A Qing has also become increasingly irritable and anxious, finding it hard to concentrate on her studies and feeling inefficient. She reports that she doesn’t understand the lessons, has insufficient time, and experiences significant difficulty falling asleep, along with feelings of aversion to studying and even thoughts of self-harm.
A Qing said, “I used to be among the top few in my class in elementary and middle school, but now I feel like I can’t understand anything in class. My mind reacts very slowly, and there are questions that everyone else can answer, but I can’t. I’ve put in a lot of effort to review what I learned in class. There are many questions I still don’t understand, and we’ve already started new lessons. I’m really scared of going to class every day. I feel anxious during class; each lesson means new questions I won’t know how to tackle. The difficulties are piling up, and I feel suffocated. There are many questions in my homework that I can’t solve. I hate being so stupid. I agonize over these problems every day. Teacher Liu, can you tell me where the excellent version of myself has gone?”
A Qing’s problem is the result of multiple factors working together. From a broader perspective, her parents’ educational methods and excessive expectations have negatively impacted her personality and views. From the perspective of the visitor herself, she is in her adolescence, lacks social interactions, and finds it difficult to obtain useful social support when facing problems.
From elementary to middle school, A Qing focused entirely on studying hard, and after graduating from middle school with excellent grades, she entered high school. Her consistently outstanding performance became her only source of confidence and motivation. Facing continuous declines in her grades, A Qing has a hard time accepting it, and her singular, fragile confidence has collapsed. Additionally, as A Qing has always held herself to strict standards, facing academic setbacks has triggered pathological memories, plunging her into severe anxiety and into a self-reinforcing cycle of denial.
A Qing dresses simply and looks very distressed. I greeted her politely, “Teacher Liu, you have to help me; I’m really very anxious. I can’t understand anything in class.” Before she finished speaking, tears were streaming down her face, so I handed her a tissue. Through simple pleasantries and communication, I found that she is a very motivated girl with high self-expectations. So, I used the principle of empathy to express my understanding and encouragement, which could help her better perceive her true feelings while also bridging the psychological distance between us to gather relevant information and establish a respectful and trusting relationship.
Although A Qing has entered high school, she still adopts her middle school study model to face high school learning, maintaining expectations as high as during her middle school years. However, seeing her grades continuously declining, she experiences severe emotional fluctuations and behavioral disorders. Through scenario reconstruction interventions, she realizes that in different stages, everyone’s learning state and outcomes are different. I smiled and said, “A Qing, you should feel happy.” She looked at me with a puzzled expression. I continued, “You have performed excellently in your studies in the past, and your solid foundation of knowledge constitutes your inherent value. While it’s tough to be currently behind, the pressure you feel is naturally more than others, but you should also recognize that being able to feel pressure itself is a potential motivation. It’s the premise for your progress. Imagine someone who feels indifferent to everything, has no pressure whether good or bad; what can they achieve? Moreover, everyone’s learning experience is not always smooth. After encountering learning difficulties in the first year of high school, we learn how to cope, and that is indeed a precious asset in our lives. Think about it: if you had been doing well all along, and then in your senior year faced learning setbacks that led to emotional decline, what would that feel like?” After hearing my analysis, she smiled contentedly, and that was the first time I saw her smile.
When I explained the situation, A Qing’s parents were initially very surprised, and then quickly fell into self-blame, expressing that,
