Recently, I watched a video of the famous psychologist Professor He Lingfeng.
A couple of professors from Fudan University brought their 14-year-old son to him. The boy suffers from depression and has attempted wrist-cutting and jumping off buildings several times.
At a loss, the parents brought their son to Professor He, hoping he could talk to him.
The boy asked, “Professor He, do you think everyone will die sooner or later?”
Professor He responded, “Yes.”
The boy said, “I am 14 now. My parents are university professors, so I have experienced everything I should eat, play, and go through since I was young. I feel there are no regrets in life.
If I don’t die now, next year I will have to take the high school entrance exam. If I don’t get into a good school, my parents will feel embarrassed. After getting into a good high school, I still need to get into a good university, then pursue a master’s and a Ph.D. However much I study, I may not surpass my parents.
If I end up becoming like them, look at them – both university professors. Is this how life will turn out for me? Look at them, their marital relationship isn’t good either. They argue and give each other the cold shoulder all the time; what’s the point?
With my personality, when I go out, my boss will definitely manipulate me, and then I’ll face society’s lashes. In the future, if I marry and have a child who turns out like me, it will be worrisome for others.
Why must I endure all of society’s torment before dying? Whether sooner or later, death is inevitable. Wouldn’t it be better if I died now?”
After hearing the boy speak, Professor He was unexpectedly moved, “Indeed, life is so difficult, there’s not much meaning in living.”
“But you can always play games every day!”
The boy replied, “Playing games also lacks meaning. I have played all kinds of games; it’s just that.”
At this point, everyone must be puzzled – why can’t this seemingly perfect child from a good family find the meaning of life?
What is going on with the child?
Is it really just a matter of depression?
Professor Xu Kaiwen, former deputy director of the Peking University Mental Health Education and Counseling Center, introduced the concept of “Hollow Heart Disease” during a speech, more accurately defined as “psychological disorders caused by value defects.” He conducted a survey among freshmen at Peking University, including undergraduates and graduates. The results showed that 30.4% of students are averse to studying or believe that studying is meaningless (note that this is the winner on the high-pressure battlefield of the college entrance exam); furthermore, 40.4% of students think life has no meaning, merely living according to others’ logic. Ultimately, some completely give up on themselves.
Hollow Heart Disease
Superficially resembling depression, with symptoms like low mood, decreased interest, and lack of pleasure. If a person seeks help at a psychiatric hospital, they are typically diagnosed with depression.
According to the latest research by a clinical psychology PhD student from Peking University, in recent years, an increasing number of people have been suffering from a new type of psychological disorder called “Hollow Heart Disease.” Compared to known depression pathologies, this new condition is more harmful and more likely to lead to suicidal tendencies!
Common Symptoms in Patients:
In terms of symptoms, they may align with a depression diagnosis.
They exhibit common depression symptoms such as low mood, decreased interest, and lack of pleasure, leading to frequent misdiagnoses of “Hollow Heart Disease” as depression. However, unlike typical depression, depressed individuals tend to withdraw socially, whereas “Hollow Heart Disease” patients typically maintain good interpersonal relationships.
They experience strong feelings of
loneliness and meaninglessness.
This sense of loneliness arises from feeling disconnected from the world and individuals around them, where all connections seem very unreal. More importantly, they don’t know why they should live or understand the value and meaning of life.
Overburdened with personal image
Extremely concerned about others’ opinions
They are highly sensitive to others’ perceptions and strive to maintain a good self-image in the eyes of others, trying to be a good child, student, husband, or wife. However, it seems all these efforts are for others’ sake, making them feel extremely burdened and exhausted.
Insensitive or unresponsive to biological treatments
There have been numerous cases where individuals received treatment at the best psychiatric hospitals in China, used all medications, and even received electroconvulsive therapy once, twice, thrice, with no improvement. This indicates that biological factors might not be the primary cause of their issues.
Strong suicidal thoughts
The group of “Hollow Heart Disease” patients are often referred to as “empty individuals,” sharing common characteristics like:
I don’t know who I am;
I don’t know where I’m going;
Where is my “self”;
I don’t know why I should live;
I have no idea about the value and meaning of my existence;
Living like a zombie every day;
It feels like all those years I lived were for someone else;
I don’t know what kind of person I want to become…
When “Hollow Heart Disease” reaches its most extreme state, individuals contemplate completely giving up on themselves.
These suicidal thoughts are not triggered by real-life difficulties, pain, or setbacks; in their words, “If that’s the case, it’s better to end it early.” Therefore, they tend towards less painful and dramatic methods of ending their lives, such as carbon monoxide poisoning, hanging, or medication overdose.
How to prevent oneself/children from developing “Hollow Heart Disease”
01
Allow for trial and error
Allowing mistakes leads to finding the right path and learning how to do so. Otherwise, you end up with a ‘perfect mask’ individual who never makes mistakes but lacks the ability to face and deal with failures and setbacks.
02
Enjoy life, please yourself
Give children space to understand that happiness in life doesn’t just come from high grades, achievements, and income. Learning to enjoy leisure and the meaningless aspects of life is also meaningful and joyful. Many adults who visit due to anxiety arising from time constraints received overly intense values education in their childhood, believing any time not used to create value is sinful, which leads to a lack of real hobbies and the inability to relax and enjoy life.
Many methods share a common essence – the present moment. When eating, focus solely on eating; feel the food being chewed in your mouth, the swing of your arms when walking, the warmth of sunlight on your skin, the breeze brushing against you, and the rise and fall of your body’s breath while sleeping.
Image source: Movie “Soul”
03
Discover inner values
Many parents diminish the altruistic value of contributing to society and the world, limiting their children’s values to high grades, achievements, and income assessments. This leads to children feeling lost, questioning constantly in the pursuit – why? What next?
It’s imperative to convey to children that life encompasses more than just assignments and high grades; it involves poetry and distant horizons, mountains, rivers, lakes, sunrises, and sunsets. A child with a rich internal life and a strong sense of value will be full of love for the world, vibrant, dream-filled, knowing the purpose of their existence.
– The End –
