One overlooked point! Autism children attending regular classes will also be affected by this reason

Separation anxiety is something? Give the most vivid example:
Every year when kindergarten starts, we see many tearful children being held by teachers, crying as they say goodbye to their mothers at the door. Standing at the entrance, the sound of crying fills the air.
(Credit: Internet)
The heartbreaking crying, tears running dry, as if once the day’s classes end, their mothers will disappear.
However, learning to cope with separation anxiety is a challenge that every child will face in their growth process.
Separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder
Separation anxiety is a very normal and important stage in infant development, marking when babies start learning how to cope with changes in their environment.
Separation anxiety typically begins around 6-9 months of age and gradually fades around age two. Normal separation anxiety signifies healthy cognitive progress in children and should not be seen as a developmental behavior issue.
In contrast, separation anxiety disorder is an excessive fear or anxiety symptom that corresponds to stages of child development.
Severe separation anxiety can hinder a child’s normal social, learning, and career development.
Autism and separation anxiety
Children with autism have social barriers and deficiencies in activities of daily living, often being “clingy” or “following around,” sticking close to their mothers wherever they go.
Some parents even complain to the teacher that their child is too clingy, unwilling to let go, making simple tasks like going out or using the restroom challenging, crying when separated.
For some parents, they may see their child’s clinginess as positive because some children struggle with attachment issues and lack clear attachment to close individuals.
(Credit: Internet)
But does this behavior need intervention?
Intervention is necessary.
On one hand, children with autism struggle to communicate emotions and physical contact with others, accompanied by social barriers, making it hard for them to express their anxieties or emotional needs.
Their rigid qualities also make it challenging for them to accept separation and changes, leading to distinct pain and fear in separation scenarios.
Sometimes, even after several years of rehabilitation training and acquiring certain abilities, when they are ready to attend mainstream school, difficulties persist due to social interaction barriers, language communication barriers, rigid behaviors, and a lack of security, making inclusive education and mainstream integration challenging.
Therefore, helping children cope with separation anxiety correctly is a challenge parents need to address.
How to teach children to deal with separation anxiety?
Most children with autism have communication barriers, limited vocabulary and sentences, often only understanding a few words in a sentence.
1
Verbal cues
Trying to reason with a child is often ineffective due to their communication barriers; using gestures or short commands can represent the end of an activity.
For example, before class, one can say to the child, “wave goodbye,” “say bye to mom,” “I’ll come get you after class.”
Waving goodbye, saying goodbye are ways to inform the child they will be leaving for a while but will return later, providing psychological preparedness and verbal cues so they know they will be separated soon.
2
Gradual desensitization
You can progressively desensitize the child to new environments and separation from caregivers. The separation process can be divided into several stages for children with autism:
01 Separate and return immediately
Initially, in a familiar environment, inform the child that you are leaving, observe their reaction, take a few steps away, then come back immediately, reinforcing them: “Great job, waiting for mom to return!”
02 Move to another room
After the child can accept a brief separation, move to another room, then return immediately, reinforcing positive responses. Gradually extend durations to five minutes, twelve minutes, twenty minutes.
03 Gradually increase distance and time
Once the child’s reactions to separation gradually calm, you can start generalizing the training.
For instance, in an institution or kindergarten, begin with full-day accompaniment, then gradually reduce the time spent together, helping the child adapt to the kindergarten environment and accept being without parents. They should gradually adapt to kindergarten life without parental companionship.
04 Build trust, find dependency objects
Especially when initially sending a child to an institution or kindergarten, they may resist and cry.
In such cases, teachers need to quickly establish a trusting relationship with the child. Teachers should take turns accompanying the child with parents.
Gradually create distance from the parents or leave for a period, allowing the teacher to play with the child, hold their hand, invite them to play, preparing them for solo kindergarten experiences.
Separation anxiety is also a parental issue
Anxiety, fundamentally, originates from a lack of mutual security.
Children’s dependence on parents may result from the inability to communicate, integrate, relying mostly on caretakers. Parents’ dependence on children stems from fears of mistakes, speech impediments, communication challenges, lack of progress in rehabilitation centers, difficulties integrating into mainstream schools, fears of bullying, concerns about lifelong dependency, societal exclusion and rejection of the child…
Such worries lead parents to heavily guard their autistic children, not wanting to disclose their child’s condition to others.
Not knowing how to better support and care for their child, parents continue to satisfy all their needs unconditionally.
Anxious, full of love, parents find it harder to separate from their children, fearing accidents even during brief separations.
Such concerns are understandable and exemplify a unique love and care distinctive to parents of children with autism.
However, excessive protection exacerbates the child’s behavioral problems, solving one issue and creating another.
In particular, in daily living skills, many children still struggle with tasks like dressing, washing their face, as parents assume they lack the ability, unsure when they will be capable, and continue to care for them personally.
Children’s capabilities are trainable, and our “careful nurturing” can become overbearing, replacing children’s potential for better recovery. Parents need to learn to “let go” during the training process.
Reduction of separation anxiety in children with autism and parents faces the same challenges: appropriate guidance is a form of support, overwhelming love can be burdensome. As parents, learning to let go appropriately gives our children the opportunity to soar higher.