【 Mushroom Psychology Day 3216 】
There is a saying:
“It is not destiny that determines your life, but the choices you make one by one.”
However, the problem is that many people easily get stuck in a state of indecision when faced with choices, filled with inner conflicts.
For example, when shopping, they keep comparing and can’t decide which one to buy.
For instance, in relationships, faced with many suitors, they don’t know who the right person is.
When our minds are constantly in conflict, it’s easy to drain ourselves mentally, which may manifest as decision-making difficulty.
So, how can this problem be relieved?
Today, we share 3 methods to adjust our inner selves.
1. Prioritize Matters
Human energy is limited, as is the time we have, because the world is finite.
However, many times, we forget this in specific situations.
Especially for those with perfectionist tendencies, who are used to making everything perfect in all details, the consequence is:
We end up investing too much energy in unimportant things, leaving us incapable of handling what’s truly important.
Therefore, when faced with choices, it’s best to ask ourselves first: Is this choice really important in itself?
If it is, then consider and choose with more thought and time. If it’s not important, then don’t overthink it, just make a decision based on feeling.
Have the courage to abandon what needs to be let go and chase what is worth pursuing. Doing so, gaining what we aim for is happiness.
2. Good is Enough, Doesn’t Have to Be the Best
Many people, when faced with choices, tend to become maximizers unconsciously.
Being a maximizer means believing that good is not enough in making a choice, it has to be the best.
Why aim for the best?
Behind the pursuit of the best often lies a belief: I cannot make mistakes, I cannot be worse than others, I cannot lose. I have to be the best, so others can’t find fault with me and will truly recognize me.
So, for those who aim for the best with every choice, it’s more about maintaining their own value rather than doing things well.
They may seem strong, but deep down they are fragile. Any slight mistake or shortcoming can make them feel denied or even shattered.
If you understand this, you’ll realize that your choice is simply to meet a certain need of yours, not to compare with others.
Therefore, it’s important to let go of comparisons and competition and be content with what you have.
If the options in front of you can already fulfill your main needs, that’s enough; there’s no need to think about “Is there something better?”
It’s normal to weigh and compare between options when making a choice. Completely avoiding comparison can lead to some unreliable decisions.
But if you lean too much towards the options you didn’t choose, becoming tangled or regretful, it can throw off your mental balance.
So, the best way to avoid troubles is, once you’ve made a decision, don’t dwell on the other options. Just like crossing a river, you can only step into one at a time. Similarly, a choice can only solve one problem, the unresolved or regrets should be left for later.
That way, it becomes easier to make choices, and the satisfaction after making a choice will be higher.
Admitting imperfection is the ultimate remedy for perfectionists.
3. Manage Your Expectations
Many people have experienced this:
Anticipating a long-awaited trip, but upon reaching the destination, it’s not as great as imagined, with various problems, leading to disappointment.
Conversely, unexpected small things that happen in your life can easily bring surprises. For instance, finding a delicious meal in a humble little shop. Sometimes, such unexpected joys can be even better than dining in a four-star hotel.
The lesson here is, to increase the satisfaction of choices, the simplest method is not to have too high expectations for them, or not to set too many expectations for the results.
After making a decision, look at what happens with a calm mindset, rather than forcing a specific desired result. This way, the experience will be better.
In conclusion, choices are important, but so is our mindset when making them. A good mindset not only leads to better choices but also makes you more confident, no longer tangled and confused.
By Practical Mushroom
