Depression, this term is no longer unfamiliar today, but it is still misunderstood and ignored by many. We often see people around us suddenly fall into boundless darkness, unable to extricate themselves. Recently, one of my friends was also diagnosed with depression. She shared her pain and struggle on social media, making me start to think deeply: What exactly is depression?
Depression is not simply a momentary low mood or temporary sadness, it is a serious mental illness. Depressed patients often feel deeply helpless and hopeless, as if their lives are shrouded by an invisible dark force, unable to see the bright future. My friend’s Weibo is full of her self-denial and despair: “I am unhappy, unworthy of love.” This emotion is not pretended but a real existing pain.
The manifestations of depression vary from person to person, some may appear very low-key, even unwilling to communicate with the outside world. They may stay in their rooms all day, not eating, not drinking, unwilling to face anyone or anything. Like my friend, she unfollowed all friends who were concerned about her, trying to create a space for herself to vent alone. This behavior seems indifferent, but it is actually a protective mechanism deep within her, she is afraid of others seeing her vulnerable side and afraid of being criticized or misunderstood.
In some other cases, depressed patients may release their inner pain through self-harm. There may be scars of varying depths on their wrists, these wounds are not only physical but also wounds in the depths of their souls that cannot heal. In her self-narrative, my friend mentioned that her sister is also a depressive patient, and the scars and new wounds on her wrists constantly remind her family of how real and profound her pain is.
Depression not only affects the individual but also has a huge impact on the entire family. The emotional fluctuations and behavioral changes of depressed patients often catch family members off guard, even making them feel fearful and helpless. Like my friend’s family, when her younger brother innocently exclaimed, “I want to die,” the whole family was plunged into extreme tension and panic. The mother would uncontrollably hit the child, the father would slam things and curse on the side, and the entire family was caught in an indescribable chaos and sadness.
This chaos and sadness stem not only from the patient themselves but also from the family’s ignorance and helplessness towards the illness. They cannot understand why the patient is in such pain, and may even think the patient is “faking it” or “being dramatic”. However, the pain of depression is indescribable, it is an inescapable darkness, a continuous and endless psychological torment.
After being diagnosed with depression, my friend’s sister’s family did not provide her with enough support and understanding. On the contrary, her father always believed she was “faking it,” even thinking her condition was self-inflicted. Her father’s indifference and blame made her feel even more self-blame and despair. Even after her death, her family still could not understand her pain and choices, only angrily reproaching her for being unfilial and incompetent.
This made me think, as friends or family, how should we help people with depression? Most importantly, we need to learn to understand and listen, rather than simply blame or ignore. Depressed patients do not need indifference and blame, they need warmth and support. They need someone to confide in, a shoulder to lean on.
Furthermore, we can encourage them to seek professional help. Psychologists and psychiatrists can provide scientific treatment and medication to help patients alleviate symptoms. My friend mentioned that she was taking a medication called Venlafaxine, which is a common antidepressant. Although this medication may have some side effects, it can indeed alleviate depression symptoms to a certain extent.
The treatment of depression is a long and challenging process. Patients need to persist in taking medication and receiving psychological therapy, while also requiring the patience and support of family and friends. As friends, what we can do is to give them care and understanding when they need it, accompany them through those dark moments.
Finally, I want to say to all those with depression: your pain is real, but you are not alone. On this difficult journey, there are many people willing to accompany you and support you. Please believe that although life is full of darkness, one day, light will reappear. I hope you can persevere, find your own ray of sunshine.
In the ending of this article, I would like to quote the last words of my friend’s sister: “It’s better to return, then return.” To those with depression who have already passed, we wish them to find peace and tranquility in another world. And for those still fighting with depression, please believe, there are many beautiful things in life worth exploring and experiencing. I hope you can find your happiness and live a wonderful life.
