It is said that children are the most fragile, sometimes a casual remark from parents may hurt their young hearts, causing psychological shadows, so it’s crucial to communicate effectively with children.
I once witnessed a scene: a mother took her four or five-year-old son to the store to shop. As they passed by a toy display case, the child was drawn to a remote-controlled car. However, when the mother saw the price, she shook her head and said to the child, “This is too expensive, we can’t afford it,” then she picked up the child and walked away.
So, until they finished shopping, the child always looked unhappy, his face downcast.
The mother seemed unaware of this issue, busy with her own shopping.
In fact, children do not have a concept of cheap or expensive when it comes to something they want. They only know that this is something they really desire, and if parents do not fulfill their wishes promptly, they will be unhappy, and their little self-esteem will be affected.
When children hear phrases like “This is too expensive, we can’t afford it,” especially, they may feel deeply inferior. Over time, children may wonder why they can’t have what others have. Are we really that poor? Consequently, they may feel less confident in front of others.
How can we skillfully persuade a child not to buy something too expensive?
I believe most parents have encountered similar situations, and we can entirely approach it differently. For example, we can first negotiate with the child to play enough with the toys at home before getting a new toy, explaining that being fickle is not desirable.
If the child doesn’t listen or insists on buying, parents can try diverting the child’s attention with other things because most children are not fixated on one thing as long as it’s fun, they will be interested.
This way, we can deftly defuse the situation without hurting the child’s feelings.
Children are fragile when they are young. Just like the mother of the little boy mentioned earlier, her actions clearly hurt the child’s feelings. When a child hears a parent say they can’t afford something, it creates a sense of inferiority.
What are the negative effects when a child’s self-esteem is shattered?
1. It makes children lose their innocence and joy.
It is often said that children are like carefree and happy little birds. However, in reality, a child’s happiness often comes from the moment they receive a new toy; they only get excited when they have what they want.
If parents find a toy to be expensive, they can negotiate with the child to buy something else and explain that the other item is not inferior to the desired toy. This way, it satisfies the child’s desire for a new toy without making them feel oppressed.
During this process, parents should avoid using words to scold or berate the child as it will only make the child lose their innocence and joy.
2. It makes children feel inferior.
Children are quite simple-minded, believing the world is fair—what others have, they should have too.
If parents mention the fact that they can’t afford something, it not only fails to solve any problems but also causes the child to feel inferior.
In reality, most families are ordinary, and parents do not need to repeatedly remind children of this fact. It isn’t beneficial for the child and will only make them feel worse.
How to prevent children from suddenly demanding toys like little rascals?
I believe many parents face this dilemma: when taking children out to play, they inevitably come across many toy sellers, sometimes being forced to buy a bunch of toys, only for the child to lose interest in them shortly.
In such cases, it’s essential to clearly communicate with the child before going out, insisting that some toys at home cannot be bought again. Any desire for new toys must be approved by the parent. If the child fails to abide by the agreement, then they will not be taken out to play in the future.
This way, the child will surely listen because no child wants to break an agreement and face the consequence of staying home alone, which not only develops a good habit of keeping promises but also prevents awkward situations.
After all, children are still young, and a single harsh truth from parents can be discouraging. Therefore, during the process of educating children, it’s not just about knowing the right methods but also being mindful of our own words and actions, ensuring we don’t leave the child speechless with our blunt truth.
