Discovering a very strange phenomenon:
Some women who are emotionally intelligent and understand human relationships well when not discussing emotions, once they become involved in a relationship, they start becoming unhappy.
These women always believe that by sacrificing their own interests and desperately being good to men, they can bring out a “man who stands tall and strong,” who treats them well and makes them happy.
Therefore, they constantly give up their interests, eventually produce a man who becomes increasingly ruthless, making themselves unhappy.
Women must remember: In any relationship, if you are strong, you are happy; if you are weak, you will face exploitation.
Your chips determine your upper limit of rights, and your rights in the relationship determine your initiative in emotions.
Relationship equation: Chips=Value
Value can be divided into the following levels, the more levels you have, the more chips you possess, the higher the guarantee of happiness.
1. Physical Value: Your appearance, figure, external image, and physical health quality;
2. Psychological Value: Your energy, emotional stability, and reliable inner core;
3. Belonging Value: You can make a man feel at home, make him rely on and belong;
4. Self-esteem Value: The life you share with him is prestigious, satisfying his ego and vanity;
5. Self-realization Value: You can help him achieve his dreams, make him a better version of himself.
These values are your emotional chips. The more chips you have, the greater your dominance in emotions, the better you can grasp your happiness.
In any intimate relationship, whether it’s love or marriage, a man will not love you because you are meticulous in your care for him, but he will love you based on how high your value is, clinging to you, returning to your side.
01 Men loving you is not related to how good you are to them
In “Nothing but Thirty,” Gu Jia gives her husband Xu Huanshan enough face, self-esteem, freedom, and care.
For her husband’s health, she meticulously prepares three meals a day;
For her husband’s dreams and to give him face, despite doing the business dealings and orders herself, she willingly stays behind the scenes, silently making sacrifices, only leaving honor and praise for her husband.
An accomplished and beautiful woman with high emotional intelligence, she holds her husband in the palm of her hand, diminishing herself, all for the sake of loving him.
However, Xu Huanshan did not feel grateful for his wife’s love and did not reciprocate the same level of affection.
Instead, he found his wife’s love too easy, considering it a burden, a lack of appreciation, becoming a shackle to himself.
So he started cheating, found another woman named Lin Youyou.
Many viewers felt that Xu Huanshan did not know how to appreciate, but in reality, Gu Jia herself lowered her status, relinquished her rights, seeking to please in the relationship in exchange for her husband’s care.
Unfortunately, when you give up your rights, you begin to lose your dominance, destined to be exploited.
Men do not view your concessions as caring for them, but rather see you as weak and easily controlled, leading them to exploit you even more.
02 The higher your value, the more men will “love you”
Men may not love you because you are good to them, but they will not be able to leave you because of your value.
The higher your value, the more they depend on you, afraid to be without you.
Although Xu Huanshan loves Lin Youyou to the point of blindness, even at the expense of humiliating his talented and beautiful original wife,
When his wife confronted him directly, he did not have the courage to persist, sneakily returned to his wife’s embrace, foregoing the 2+1 thing.
The fundamental reason is that Gu Jia possesses too much, too high value.
1. Physical Value: Gu Jia is elegant, beautiful, and presentable.
2. Psychological Value:
Gu Jia always remains composed, even in the face of betrayal, she can negotiate calmly, with just a few words, driving away competitors, pulling back her husband, without any commotion.
Her emotional stability, broad-mindedness, and strong core help support Xu Huanshan, giving him courage to depend on her, to be weak.
3. Self-esteem and Self-value:
Even if Xu Huanshan does not want to admit it, he has to acknowledge that the company’s success is all thanks to Gu Jia.
The company’s growth, the maintenance of a high-quality family life, all relies on Gu Jia’s abilities and operation. Without her, his life quality would plummet.
His reputation and social standing are all built on his wife; she also cleans up his messes when he gets in trouble.
He knows that his wife offers him the most value and benefits.
He dares not, and does not want to leave his wife.
In love and marriage, women need the capital of “emotional chips” to have the confidence of never being betrayed.
As your value increases, so does your power of speech, allowing you to fully benefit from the emotions.
The higher and larger your value chips, the more men will show love for you and will not leave you.
The outside allure is just a passing fancy; it is you, the one who provides true value, that a man cannot bear to betray, the “home” he cherishes.
So, do not easily exhaust your physical efforts, nor one-sidedly offer sincere and humble love.
Improve yourself, present an equally balanced, or even superior high-value love, to keep yourself invincible in emotions!
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