Some people say: how a man treats the many encounters in life reveals whether he is mature.
Is he devoted to his work, is he sincere and open with others, is he positive and upward in life?
However, these aspects often only show whether a man is sensible and adept at handling interpersonal relationships.
The true measure of a man’s maturity lies in whether he can enjoy solitude and grow from it.
Only by experiencing the ups and downs of the heart and feeling the loneliness of being alone can a man cultivate the demeanor and nature he should have.
A man must become accustomed to solitude in order to confront the harshness of life; only in solitude can he listen to the voice of his heart and find his true self.
But the reality is that many men either do not dare to be alone or disdain it, fearing that loneliness will engulf them when they are by themselves.
Yet, truly mature men understand that being alone is not necessarily something to avoid; quietness in solitude is not necessarily devoid of ease.
Because only by distancing oneself from the distractions of the outside world can one calm their heart and reflect on their life; only in solitude can one be unaffected by the opinions of others and live out their authentic self.
01
Only in solitude can one face the true self
A man’s maturity largely depends on his self-awareness.
This awareness often needs to be reflected upon and explored in solitude.
As psychologist Jung said: unless a person is willing to face the shadows within, they cannot know themselves and thus achieve completeness.
A man who does not dare to be alone is essentially avoiding his true self. He fears being torn apart by the fears and contradictions within during quiet moments.
Thus, he uses busyness to numb himself and relies on others to fill the void inside. On the surface, he seems to enjoy the bustle, but in reality, he is evading loneliness.
But if a man cannot even face solitude, how can he confront the storms and challenges of life? How can he come to terms with his insecurities and vulnerabilities?
It is only in solitude that one can be free from external disturbances and listen to their inner voice sincerely.
Perhaps you will discover that you are not as sunny and cheerful as you appear; or perhaps you will realize that deep down, you possess a hidden softness and sensitivity.
Confronting one’s fears and anxieties is an essential path for a man to mature.
Because only by analyzing oneself can one come to truly understand themselves; and only by accepting oneself can one become a complete person.
Just like those truly mature men, they often dare to face their inner weaknesses in solitude and draw strength from it.
They understand that rather than wearing a mask to disguise themselves, it is better to focus on self-cultivation and improvement. They also understand that self-awareness is a continuous reflective process that needs ongoing exploration in solitude.
02
Solitude allows for the accumulation of life’s wisdom
Socrates once said: “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Yet in the noisy world, it is difficult for us to calm down and reflect on our lives.
Only in solitude can we think without disturbance and accumlate wisdom.
Throughout history, countless wise sages have adeptly utilized solitude to reflect on life and seek truth.
The pastoral life of Tao Yuanming after resigning from his official position and the path of learning after Wang Yangming’s enlightenment in Longchang both crystallized their insights gained in solitude.
Such wisdom often requires accumulation and sedimentation in solitude.
But in real life, many men are constantly troubled by trivial matters and hindered by the worries of interpersonal relationships. They lose their direction in busyness and lose themselves in the chaos.
Unbeknownst to them, if a man wishes to mature, he must learn to savor the nuances of life in solitude.
Only by distancing oneself from the clamorous outside world can one calm down to ponder the meaning of life; only in solitude can one calmly evaluate their gains and losses and draw wisdom from them.
A man who can be alone is often able to see life’s essence clearly. They are not easily deceived by superficial glory, nor do they allow transitory gains and losses to sway them.
