In everyone’s life, there are always a few close friends, referred to as “bros” among men and “besties” among women. However, there is also a unique relationship known as “male besties.”
Male besties refer to close female friends, with a very intimate relationship that falls between being a couple and just friends. This special bond between opposite sexes earns them the title “male besties.”
However, relationships between men and women can easily become ambiguous, especially among close friends. Particularly when one is in a romantic relationship or marriage, failing to navigate this situation carefully can pose a serious threat to one’s love life.
Arwen and Xiaofang were college classmates. Xiaofang, being beautiful and possessing a very feminine personality, garnered many admirers at school, including Arwen. However, due to the numerous suitors, Xiaofang found it hard to choose among them, maintaining a cordial yet distant relationship with those she found satisfactory.
Eventually, Arwen’s thoughtful gestures and willingness to create romantic surprises set him apart from the other suitors. After putting in so much effort, he finally won Xiaofang’s heart. Ecstatic about winning her over after all his efforts, Arwen’s heart was in euphoria. However, his joy was short-lived when he noticed that despite entering a relationship with him, Xiaofang still maintained connections with her previous suitors.
Arwen, feeling upset, confronted Xiaofang, who explained that her relationships with others were purely platonic friendships. She agreed to date Arwen but wasn’t willing to abandon her circle of friends. Arwen, feeling helpless, could only brood on his own. After observing for some time, he realized that Xiaofang’s affection for him was genuine and unwavering, with no signs of infidelity, easing his worries.
Although Arwen believed Xiaofang had not betrayed him, as a normal man, it was unsettling to see his girlfriend closely involved with other men. Therefore, aside from treating Xiaofang exceptionally well, Arwen made a point to spend as much time with her as possible, to prevent other men from getting too close.
After graduating from college, Arwen and Xiaofang stayed in the city to pursue their careers. Over the years, they had numerous quarrels, with Xiaofang, being headstrong, often using threats of breaking up. But Arwen, deeply in love with Xiaofang, was unwilling to let go easily. Regardless of who was at fault after arguments, Arwen always took the first step to apologize. After weathering many storms, Arwen decided he couldn’t wait any longer and proposed to Xiaofang.
Arwen’s proposal was an attempt to give a conclusion to their relationship and also out of desperation. Despite their deepening affection over the years, Xiaofang’s adept social skills had not waned; her male friends continued to cycle through. Arwen hoped marriage would make Xiaofang more committed to their family life.
Truthfully, Xiaofang’s love for Arwen was genuine, and her feelings towards her male friends were platonic. At least, that’s how Xiaofang perceived it. She had done nothing to betray Arwen. However, regardless of purity, intimate relationships between opposite sexes can be seen as a threat to love. Although Arwen trusted Xiaofang, he couldn’t shake off his discomfort.
Unexpectedly, after marriage, Xiaofang didn’t show signs of restraint, making it difficult for Arwen to accept her so-called “male besties.” Arwen tried to rationalize not overthinking things before marriage, but post-marriage, his perspective shifted. Feeling dissatisfied with the unfolding events, Arwen became increasingly infuriated, viewing Xiaofang as a forbidden fruit.
Arwen believed that post-marriage, intimate relationships with men other than himself were unacceptable, even if they were purely innocent. Consequently, Arwen and Xiaofang had a heated argument. Xiaofang was puzzled by Arwen’s anger, considering her good social standing was no secret to him. It was who she was when he pursued her, so why was it now a problem? Arwen insisted that Xiaofang cut ties with her male besties.
Unable to understand Arwen’s changed attitude, Xiaofang felt he was being irrational. Similar to their pre-marriage quarrels, she stubbornly suggested a breakup after their argument, unaware that this breakup was not just about two individuals parting ways but the disintegration of a family.
Arwen had hoped marriage would change Xiaofang, but her stubborn nature persisted post-marriage, threatening breakups without much consideration. Heartbroken, Arwen agreed to a divorce. In a fit of anger, they went to get their divorce papers that afternoon, and Xiaofang left the house to stay at a male bestie’s place.
However, Xiaofang didn’t truly want to end things with Arwen. She felt divorce was merely a procedural step and hoped Arwen would come back to apologize within three days, having ignored him, thinking she could maintain her dignified stance. To her dismay, days turned into months without a word from Arwen.
During the waiting period, Xiaofang grew anxious. By the fifth day of waiting in vain, she began reaching out to Arwen, maintaining a condescending tone to her messages, questioning if he had realized his mistake. Unfortunately, her messages were left on read.
Subsequently, Xiaofang couldn’t resist returning home to check on the situation, only to find their once happy home empty and Arwen gone. After enduring three tormenting months, Xiaofang finally tracked down Arwen, appearing worn-out, to seek his forgiveness and earnestly admit her wrongs, hoping for a chance to reconcile.
However, Arwen was already disillusioned with Xiaofang, feeling despondent as he observed her pleading and repentance. Regret plagued his heart, the pain of their failed love vivid. Although he still held affection for Xiaofang, he was afraid of repeating the same mistakes. Mockingly, he retorted, “Don’t remarry, your male besties won’t approve!”
Epilogue
Having a male bestie as a woman isn’t excessive; after all, men also have their confidantes. As long as it is based on mutual respect and proper conduct, there’s no room for reproach.
However, such relationships differ from brotherly or bestie bonds and are transient in nature. Before falling in love or getting married, as long as boundaries aren’t crossed, there’s no harm in men and women being friends. But once in a relationship, these relationships, if not severed, must evolve from close friends to acquaintances.
Women shouldn’t expect their partners to accept an intimate relationship without impact just because they haven’t done anything wrong. If such a relationship causes conflicts between partners, regardless of its purity, the damage is real. In such scenarios, clarity is needed to distinguish the grave from the trivial.
