What cannot be obtained is always turbulent, and those who are favored are always fearless. We all think that, in front of our loved ones, bravely expressing ourselves and striving to love will surely elicit a response.
However, sometimes loving someone might elevate them too highly, making oneself appear lowly and creating an imbalance in the relationship.
Excessive love and cheapened emotions can make a man fail to appreciate, even though the other person isn’t that great either; it’s your love that makes them think highly of themselves.
Due to your initiative, you end up becoming passive in emotions, allowing him to treat you with mixed signals.
When a man is distant, it is best not to try to please or win him back; by doing so, he won’t dare to underestimate you.
1. Initiate a disconnection to maintain dignity
Many readers know that I actively pursued my husband, using emotional tactics in addition to reading books.
My husband, being older than me and more shrewd in handling emotions, has always kept me hanging, giving me hope but never a clear answer.
I didn’t want to be a standby, so I confessed my feelings to him, giving him a final chance and myself a final opportunity; unsurprisingly, I was rejected.
Without any harsh words, I just told him he won’t find someone as kind to him as I was, and then promptly deleted him.
Ironically, by initiating the disconnection, I gained the upper hand in the relationship; he started pursuing me, behaving well, and making me happy.
One cannot deny that human nature is like this: when you draw close to someone and they look down on you, they fail to cherish the easily attainable.
But when you no longer belong to them, the fear of loss kicks in, and they end up pursuing you.
So, don’t fear disconnecting from a man; if he is distant, it’s better not to reach out.
A man who truly loves you will come looking for you; if he doesn’t, it means he doesn’t love you, and all your efforts, even if you maintain contact, won’t win his heart.
2. Invest in self-improvement
I’ve seen women who, after disconnecting from a man, hastily jump into a relationship with someone else, partly out of emotional emptiness and the desire to make the other jealous, proving that they are doing better.
Such actions are ill-advised; without resolving past emotions, entering a new relationship will only lead to more hurt.
Furthermore, a man won’t choose to win you back if you quickly move on to someone else; instead, he’ll perceive your affections as cheap and easily replaceable.
In his mind, his distance might just be a moment of calm, but your actions will push you into his blacklist.
A truly wise woman, faced with a man’s indifference, stays composed and focuses on self-improvement to heal the heartache from past relationships.
Instead of drowning in emotions, diligently work on yourself.
As he notices your transformation and the rekindled spark within you, he will be willing to rebuild the relationship on a deeper level and continue growing with you.
If your changes don’t bring back your loved one, rather than rushing into a new affection, invest your time in self-improvement; it’s not a loss.
Throughout this process, you will meet a better version of yourself and, upon becoming better, gain more insight, understanding, and perhaps meet a better person.
Love isn’t just about giving your all to receive; you can only control your inner feelings, not the other person’s true intentions.
If a man is hot and cold towards you, unwilling to give clear answers about love, treating emotions as a game of testing you, don’t let him lead you around. Stand on a high ground of self-worth, fight back, and take control of the relationship; that’s how you win.
