Text by / Xiao Nuan
We have become accustomed to using emojis instead of words and voice messages instead of face-to-face conversations. Yet, even in such a modern context, there remains a feeling that is difficult to express with any contemporary means—this is the deep longing hidden in our hearts.
Perhaps you may wonder: If he really misses me, why doesn’t he just tell me directly? Why is he unwilling to even send a simple message?
“It’s not that I don’t miss you, but I’m afraid of bothering you.”
Sometimes, men choose silence because they worry that their presence may disturb you. In such cases, their longing is like a warm cup of tea; they don’t want to burn you or let it cool too quickly.
They may feel that, during your busy times or when you need personal space, the best love is to quietly wait.
In this situation, they might silently pay attention to your updates, hoping you are doing well, while also fearing that their presence might bring you stress or discomfort.
“It’s not that I don’t care, but I’m afraid of losing you.”
Another possible reason is that they fear that once they speak up, they might ruin the existing relationship. Sometimes, people choose to maintain distance due to the fear of losing something.
For instance, when a relationship is in a delicate phase, too much initiative might make the other person feel uneasy or pressured, thus impacting the emotional development between the two.
In such cases, they prefer to maintain a certain distance rather than risk breaking the status quo. Their hearts may be filled with contradictions: on one hand, they want to be close to you, and on the other hand, they fear that this closeness will change everything.
“It’s not that I’m not brave, but I’m afraid of being rejected.”
Another possibility is that they are afraid of rejection. For many people, expressing feelings requires a lot of courage. Especially when these feelings remain unreciprocated, the resulting sense of loss and frustration can be enough to make one withdraw.
Some choose to hide their emotions, preferring to silently endure the pain of longing rather than face the possibility of rejection.
With this mindset, they might choose to observe your reactions, looking for the right opportunity to act rather than recklessly revealing their feelings.
After reading this, do you have more understanding of those who don’t take the initiative to reach out? In fact, regardless of the reason, it reflects a vulnerable yet authentic side of human nature.
If you are also experiencing similar confusion, you might try to understand the other person from a different perspective.
Of course, the most important thing is, if you also have that difficult-to-express emotion within you, muster the courage to share it, even if it’s just a simple message to let the other person know you care. Because true love requires not just waiting, but also the courage to express it.
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