Married couples who encounter problems often have a common mindset: they believe that divorcing and finding a better partner will surely lead to greater happiness than their current situation.
This line of thinking is quite normal, but a person who does not understand human nature or the essence of marriage is likely to repeat past mistakes.
Just like someone who cannot swim will find no use in changing pools; instead, they may start to question their life’s fortune, wondering if they are simply unlucky and always encountering people who harm them.
In fact, after experiencing a failed marriage, one needs to approach remarriage with more caution, as it tests your ability to understand people.
However, many women overlook the fact that a second marriage can be harder to manage than the first, mistaking a man’s superficial charm for his true character, only to find themselves puzzled over why problems arise after marriage and questioning why he treats them poorly.
In reality, certain behaviors exhibited by men in a second marriage indicate that they do not take you seriously.
1. He communicates with his ex-wife behind your back, even staying overnight.
It is often said that couples in second marriages generally do not fare as well as those in first marriages, with a significant reason being the complexity of relationships, including those with ex-wives and children.
Some men may remarry but have not let go of their ex-wives; if an ex-wife returns seeking contact, they can become confused.
One reader shared that she and her husband are both remarried and have their own children. Less than a year into their marriage, his ex-wife found various reasons to ask him to visit their child. Initially, he would inform her beforehand, but eventually, he stopped notifying her. Once, he mentioned needing to stay with the child because of a fever.
Upon hearing her husband’s explanation, she felt a bad premonition, and indeed she later received photos from his ex-wife, revealing that they had rekindled their romance. She chose to divorce, fortunately without children involved.
In marriage, when a man communicates with his ex-wife behind your back and does not discuss it with you, it shows a lack of respect for you as his wife; he does not care about you.
If he openly stays over at his ex-wife’s home and later explains to you that there is nothing going on, this “after the fact” approach indicates he does not take you seriously.
A man who truly cares about you and genuinely wants to build a life together will not meet his ex-wife privately but will bring you along, establishing boundaries to prevent his ex from disrupting your relationship.
2. A man in a second marriage won’t entrust his finances to you.
Both individuals have experienced failure in marriage and have been hurt to some degree, paying a significant price and wanting to avoid the same pain, which makes them cautious regarding financial contributions.
Emotional investment is deprioritized; instead, self-interests come to the forefront.
Once there is a defensive mindset and calculations in play, it becomes impossible to build mutual trust and openness, leading to vigilant behavior from both parties, with economic transparency often being lacking.
One netizen mentioned her second marriage, where her husband insisted they manage their finances separately concerning their children. She is unaware of his income and wishes to have a child with him, but he argues that they have enough children already and cannot afford more. She reflected that this marriage feels akin to being unmarried, expressing some regret about remarrying.
The success of a marriage relies heavily on a solid economic foundation; financial transparency builds trust and benefits family functioning. However, a man in a second marriage who refuses to share his finances and instead aims to control your resources indicates that he does not take you seriously and is not sincere about building a life together.
3. He shows favoritism towards his children and never opens up to you emotionally.
It is often said that being a stepmother is challenging, yet many women disagree, believing that fulfilling their responsibilities as a mother will earn them recognition, while overlooking fundamental human emotions.
Many children struggle to accept their father’s remarriage and may harbor prejudices against their stepmother, leading to conflicts that can easily strain the couple’s relationship.
Moreover, some men, feeling guilty towards their children, may irrationally protect their kids, putting you in a difficult position.
It is often said that couples in second marriages are like thieves, worried that their efforts won’t be reciprocated, leading to reservations and mutual wariness, ultimately preventing genuine treatment of one another.
Some men remarry simply to find a woman to care for their children and household. While they may have high expectations of you initially, over time, if you show any sign of neglect, they may perceive that your attentiveness towards their children and them is waning, thinking you have revealed your true colors and dismissing your past efforts as mere pretense.
If a man never viewed you as a wife from the beginning, he won’t open up to you and will instead place all relationships above yours.
