Writer Lao She said in “Divorce”: “The end of marriage is not separation, but living in harmony yet growing apart.”
Why do couples reach the point of living in harmony yet growing apart?
There are many reasons, one of the most unbearable being partner’s disdain, which can make you feel like a terrible person and lead to self-doubt.
While being disliked by others is inevitable in life, with strangers having minimal interaction, any dislike is usually not apparent.
However, in marriage, where constant interaction is essential and unavoidable, facing disdain becomes truly tormenting.
Furthermore, due to love, being unable to accept the beloved’s disdain, women may question if they are still in their partner’s heart, or if their partner still loves them.
This may be a common issue for women in relationships, where any behavior of men can be associated with love or lack thereof.
To avoid feeling upset when being disliked by men, understanding the reasons for their disdain is crucial to overcome the dilemma.
In fact, behind a man’s disdain for you in marriage, there are three truths concealed.
1. He disdains you because he no longer loves you.
Many women in marriages are constantly disliked by men, criticized for everything they do, which can be distressing and confusing for women.
Yi Shu said: “When a man no longer loves his woman, her tears are wrong, staying silent is wrong, even breathing is wrong, and death is also wrong.”
Women can sense the reality of not being loved but are unwilling to face it, often seeking other reasons to justify men’s actions in order to sustain the relationship.
When love fades, men start to negate everything you do in their hearts, making all your efforts seem meaningless to them.
The more you try to appease him, the more he disdains you, as he keeps challenging your limits to test your endurance until you succumb, denying yourself in the process.
It’s not about how much you give, but rather about whether he loves you; the less he loves you, the more he will focus on your flaws until you believe them, eroding your self-esteem.
2. Disdaining you is to “control” you.
In marriage, when faced with a man’s disdain, women often react in two common ways: either by proving their innocence vigorously, denying the man’s disdain, or feeling hurt and helpless without knowing how to respond.
In marital relationships, power struggles may arise, with men deliberately disdaining women to assert control, questioning women for various reasons, trapping them in a cycle of self-justification.
The more a woman desires a man’s approval, the more likely she gets ensnared in his judgments.
In the eyes of a man who doesn’t acknowledge you, all your self-justifications seem like sophistry, as he won’t believe you or change his attitude, intensifying his disapproval.
Because a man who disdains you only seeks to dominate and oppress through disdain, being indifferent to your true essence, knowing he’s wrong yet finding pleasure in your suffering.
The more you try to prove yourself to a man who disdains you, the easier it becomes for him to manipulate you.
Your constant attempts to seek his approval become new grounds for his disdain, leading to a vicious cycle.
3. Failure to find self-worth.
Why do people easily get hurt by others’ disdain?
The main reason is the lack of self-worth, living solely by others’ standards.
In marriage, many women measure their self-worth based on men’s love for them, the success of their marriage, the status in the in-law family…
Whenever a man disdains them, they feel like failures, unloved, and believe they hold no value in his eyes.
Each person is an independent individual, so why should women live dependent on men and let others define their worth?
Self-worth, from a psychological perspective, depends on the level of self-acceptance.
The less you accept yourself, the more likely you are to have low self-esteem, become submissive to seek validation, and end up in a disadvantaged position in relationships, offering an opportunity for exploitation.
Women should not be bound by men’s judgments, thoughts, or self-definitions; his disdain is his personal behavior. Find your self-worth, live authentically, and you will find happiness.
In marriage, the relationship between two individuals is mutual.
When a man disdains you, don’t rush to conclude that he no longer loves you; instead, communicate to understand the reasons behind his disdain and address them accordingly.
Moreover, women need to have their own opinions, value themselves, not live in the shadows of men, but lead their own lives.
Unlike women, men are more adept at weighing pros and cons. If a man can’t be bothered to pretend, understand that there are relationship issues that need prompt resolution.
END
Today’s Topic: What do you think are the main reasons men disdain their wives? Feel free to discuss and leave comments.
