Some say, “A little wine brings great joy.”
Others say, “Drinking leads to mistakes and harms the body.”
Many can expound on the pros and cons of drinking.
If statistics were taken, there would likely be more people opposing drinking.
In truth, for a man, being completely teetotal may seem appealing, but there are many downsides, and one might miss out on life’s opportunities as a result.
In traditional etiquette, there is a saying that without wine, there is no banquet, and a man who never drinks is often the one who cannot come to the table.
Among the “Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove,” there is a man named
Ruan Ji
who appears to be perpetually drunken, yet he lives with great clarity; wine becomes a tool for him in socializing and adjusting his mindset.
It must be said, when encountering the following situations, if a man chooses to “drink,” it shows he is quite wise.
01
When “being manipulated,” a few drinks can be the wisdom of a man.
During the chaotic Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao ruled over the central plains but was eyed covetously by the Sima clan.
Those capable in the central plains were caught between aligning with either the Cao or Sima families, leaving them in a difficult position. The future of the Cao Wei regime was uncertain.
The current Grand Commandant Jiang Ji sent his subordinate Wang Mo to persuade Ruan Ji to take an official position. Ruan Ji refused.
Wang Mo returned to the court, unable to report back and was scolded severely. Reluctantly, he again pressed Ruan Ji to accept.
Not wanting to put others in a difficult position, Ruan Ji agreed to serve in the court. The Cao family promoted Ruan Ji to be a military advisor, but Ruan Ji rejected it and subsequently became a drunkard, naturally leaving the court thereafter.
Then, the Sima family also sought to win over Ruan Ji, with Sima Zhao wanting to become related by marriage.
The matchmaker visited Ruan Ji multiple times, each time finding him inebriated. After two months, the matchmaker finally couldn’t endure it anymore; Sima Zhao lost patience and said, “Forget it.”
Regarding Ruan Ji’s drinking, Lu Xun commented: “He drinks a lot and speaks little, and when he does miscommunicate, he can use his drunkenness to gain sympathy.”
Indeed, Ruan Ji could not contend with the powerful nobility in the court, but he could remain perpetually drunk, obscuring his thoughts from others.
A drunken man may seem useless to outsiders, thus attracting no favor. This was exactly the outcome Ruan Ji desired.
Every man has moments when he cannot control his circumstances. Especially in middle age, he must socialize and read other’s expressions.
If he doesn’t drink a few cups, socializing goes poorly, and he is looked down upon. In chaotic social situations, whatever one does seems wrong; it’s better to just drink.
After all, if you are drunk, no one cares about your “rights or wrongs,” thus allowing you to escape the chaos.
Or rather, when a man is caught in difficulties, it might be better to be “occasionally confused.”
02
When “life is too bitter,” a few drinks can be the spirit of a man.
When his mother was critically ill, Ruan Ji had been drinking quite a bit while playing chess with someone.
The person accompanying him said, “You should go home.”
Ruan Ji held onto the other person and continued to play chess, saying, “The chess game is nearing its end; let’s finish before I leave, it won’t be late.”
Clearly, he was awake and in pain.
After his mother passed away, he did not cry but rather drank and ate meat.
Someone reported to the court that Ruan Ji drank and feasted after his mother’s death, which was against propriety.
Sima Zhao in court said:
“He is deeply mournful and in poor health. Drinking and eating meat is necessary for survival.”
From then on, nobody dared to say much more.
The greatest bitterness in life is the eternal parting from one’s parents, leaving one with no reliance.
