Introduction:
“Love is a magnificent dance, but some people dance elegantly in disguised masks.”
—Emotional blogger @Heart Catcher
In this era where appearances matter, love seems like a splendid gamble. We all want to meet the right person, but reality often falls short of expectations. Some say, “Not all sincere hearts can win over sincere hearts,” this statement hits hard, echoing the sentiments of many.
In relationships, we often cherish honesty. If two people decide to walk together, sharing their joys, sorrows, past experiences truthfully can keep misunderstandings at bay and avoid breeding grudges later on.
However, not everyone in this world harbors sincere intentions. Some use sweet words and charm, using “honesty” as a disguise when their hearts hold malicious intentions. Especially men who voluntarily disclose the following things to you might be hinting at your retreat, hoping you will leave him voluntarily.
Thus, the one suggesting a breakup becomes you, while he transforms into the “one who was wronged,” eliminating any guilt within himself and successfully freeing himself. So, sisters, when you hear a man mention these things, stay vigilant and alert, keep your eyes open, lest you trust the wrong person.
01: “I don’t want to deceive you either, I really have no money, and I owe a lot of debts.”
Venus pointed out succinctly in “Sound of Throwing”: “Love can ignore life, but marriage can’t, marriage is life.”
Indeed. Since it’s about life, everything needs to be practical. From the essentials of life to big decisions like buying houses, cars, having children, and supporting parents, all require thoughtful consideration. That’s why before marriage, we often weigh whether the partner’s economic conditions and family background match. If there is a significant difference, conflicts in spending money will inevitably arise, which is why parents usually emphasize the importance of “being well-matched.”
If a man keeps claiming he’s broke, telling you about his poor financial situation, it’s highly likely that it’s not as bad as he projects, but he simply doesn’t want to face the hardships of life with you.
Liyu Mengqi’s story is a typical example.
Liyu Mengqi was born into an ordinary teacher’s family, not wealthy, but living a happy and content life. During college, she met her first love, Wang Hao, a top student with excellent character and academic performance. Wang Hao was smart, diligent, the ideal type in many girls’ minds. However, Wang Hao’s family condition was average, with only his father having a stable job while his mother stayed at home due to health reasons.
After they fell in love, Wang Hao was caring towards Mengqi, often surprising her. Sometimes, Mengqi, feeling sorry for his financial status, was reluctant to let him spend money, but he always insisted, saying, “This is what I should do; making you happy satisfies me.” His words warmed Mengqi’s heart, making her feel like she found true love.
After graduating from college, Wang Hao became a civil servant based on his excellent performance, and Mengqi joined a foreign trade company. Their life seemed to be on track, but Mengqi gradually noticed that Wang Hao seemed to intentionally or unintentionally emphasize his lack of money to her.
For instance, during a meal together, Mengqi casually asked, “Was your salary this month received?”
Wang Hao sighed and said, “Yes, sigh, just a little, can’t do anything, can’t even afford to take you to a decent meal.”
Mengqi consoled, “It’s okay, just being with you makes me happy.”
Similarly, on their anniversary, Mengqi excitedly suggested, “How about we go to that newly opened French restaurant? I heard the atmosphere is very romantic!”
Wang Hao looked troubled and said, “Can we go later? I really don’t have money now. Just sent money home this month, feeling a bit tight.”
Even when Mengqi offered to pay, Wang Hao insisted, saying, “This won’t work. I’m a man; how can I let you spend? When I have money in the future, I’ll take you to the best restaurant.”
Considering civil servants’ salaries aren’t high and Wang Hao worked hard, Mengqi started taking on more expenses. She silently bore the rent, daily living expenses, meticulously selected Wang Hao’s clothes and shoes as gifts. She always told herself, “As long as he’s happy, my efforts are worthwhile.”
However, the turn of events came unexpectedly.
One day, Mengqi received a call from an unfamiliar number. A middle-aged woman’s voice on the phone said, “Is this Li Mengqi? I’m Wang Hao’s mother.”
Shocked, Mengqi replied, “Hello, Auntie, I’m Mengqi.”
Wang Hao’s mother bluntly stated, “Mengqi, I know you’ve been with Haohao for a while. However, we’ve found a very suitable girl for Haohao. Her family has good conditions, can not only arrange a better job for his father but also help Haohao progress in his civil service career. So, I hope you understand, voluntarily let go of Haohao, stop entangling him.”
Like being struck by lightning, Mengqi couldn’t find the words to respond. Each word from the phone felt like a sharp knife, piercing her heart.
After hanging up, Mengqi sat on the sofa, tears streaming down her face. She recalled the bits and pieces of the past few years, the times Wang Hao cried poverty, the days she took all burdens out of love for him. It turned out, everything was a meticulously designed deception. He wasn’t truly broke; he just wanted to find a wealthier and more influential girlfriend.
Mengqi painfully realized that some men, unwilling to bear the stigma of being unfaithful, always seek ways to make you leave them. The most commonly used reason is poor financial conditions, as they know that even if you don’t mind, your parents will consider it. This way, unknowingly, they portray women as the ones who “abandoned” or “despised” them.
Little did women know, it was all an elaborate scheme by certain men.
Women must keep their eyes open and not fall for such tricks. When a man frequently cries poverty, it’s time to be cautious. Because no matter how much you give, he won’t turn back; he’ll only sink you deeper into the abyss.
02: “My parents don’t approve of us being together, I don’t know what to say.”
Aside from financial conditions, there’s another common excuse that men often use as a shield – their parents’ disapproval.
A simple “my parents don’t agree” can shatter all your beautiful illusions. On the other hand, he’ll appear very helpless, telling you he has tried his best and hopes you won’t blame him. But when you ask him why his parents are dissatisfied with you, he can’t provide clear reasons and uses vague attitudes to indicate that you and he cannot have a future.
Zhang Xiaowen’s story is a typical example.
Zhang Xiaowen is a military woman, strong and independent. She had been with her boyfriend Chen Jun for six years, their relationship stable, on the verge of marriage. However, close to their wedding date, Chen Jun suddenly told her that his parents didn’t approve of their union.
Xiaowen was surprised but felt very helpless. She began to wonder if her military career made Chen Jun’s family apprehensive.
“Jun, are your parents worried about my job?” Xiaowen asked cautiously.
Chen Jun sighed, saying, “I’m not quite sure. They just feel we aren’t compatible. I have tried to convince them, but…”
Xiaowen felt sad but held back her tears, saying, “Let’s wait a bit longer. Maybe they’ll accept me over time.”
After a moment of silence, Chen Jun said, “Xiaowen, maybe we’re really not meant to be. You deserve someone better.”
Those words felt like a dagger, piercing directly into Xiaowen’s heart. She couldn’t believe that six years of love were easily denied.
However, fate loves to play tricks. Less than a week after Chen Jun said those words, Xiaowen received an unexpected call.
“Hello, is this Xiaowen? I’m Chen Jun’s mother.” A warm female voice came through the phone.
Xiaowen was stunned, nervously replying, “Hello, Auntie.”
“Xiaowen, are you free recently? Auntie wants to go shopping with you and have a chat.” Chen Jun’s mother sounded enthusiastic.
Xiaowen was completely bewildered. She awkwardly said, “Oh? Okay…sure, Auntie.”
After hanging up, Xiaowen was deeply perplexed. If Chen Jun’s parents really objected to their relationship, why would his mother want to meet her?
It wasn’t until the day she met Chen Jun’s mother that Xiaowen realized the truth. Chen Jun’s parents had never opposed their marriage; in fact, they liked Xiaowen very much.
Only then did she realize there was no such thing as parental disapproval; from start to finish, it was all Chen Jun’s scripted deception. Perhaps he fell for someone else and wanted Xiaowen to leave voluntarily.
It tore Xiaowen apart, but she learned a lesson: if a man truly loves you and wants to be with you, he will fight for you with all his might, until his parents accept you.
He won’t explicitly tell you; he wants you to step into his home feeling happy and secure, believing his parents always liked you, providing reassurance.
Just as in “Reply 1988”:
“No parent can win over their children, even if they do, it’s not truly winning.”
A person who truly loves you will overcome all obstacles to be with you. Whatever others say, he believes in you, willing to go through all difficulties for you. Only men who don’t love you have various reasons to make you propose a breakup, fulfilling their selfish desires.
In the end, whether using financial conditions or parents as excuses, these men, ultimately, are cowards who can’t face their feelings. They don’t love you anymore, hence finding these excuses to deceive you, convince friends who don’t understand.
These men are worse than those who directly say they no longer love you and want to break up. They not only leave you but also burden you with a bad reputation, making you the “inconsiderate” and “unaware” one.
Just as Yi Shu said:
“Not every male-bodied person is a real man; men need the courage to take responsibility, care for women and children, have the spirit of self-sacrifice, lead by example in hardships…”
If you encounter such a man, no matter how much you love him, don’t continue. It’s truly not worth being sad or heartbroken for such a person, let alone waste your youth for him.
Remember, someone who genuinely loves you will clear all obstacles to be with you, making you an indispensable part of their life. Instead of giving various excuses to push you away, they should ensure you remain the essential person on their life’s journey.
Sisters, keep your eyes open, cherish yourself. Love is beautiful, but self-preservation is also important, don’t let false tenderness blind you. Only a person who truly loves themselves can encounter love worth treasuring.
END.
