Hello teacher:
I am a man lacking in love experience, and I am already 28 years old this year.
Currently, I am pursuing a girl. But overall progress is not too good. I think I have been quite good to this girl. I am loyal to her, I buy her things. In short, I have done everything I can think of to be good to her.
However, sometimes she rejects the good things I give her, and sometimes she doesn’t reject them. It has been over a month of pursuit, soon to be two months. It has always been me taking the initiative to give. She hardly gives back.
I feel like I am begging her to be my girlfriend. She has a feeling of superiority.
Of course, she is indeed nice, and she is the type I like. Overall, her conditions are also good. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have pursued her so wholeheartedly.
The gap between us is not big. My financial ability is still okay. In this respect, I am somewhat confident. It’s just that I don’t understand women well, my love experience is insufficient.
In dealing with women, perhaps there won’t be sweet words, and dating won’t be too humorous. So, I think it’s this aspect where I lack, which makes her not like me that much.
This is my own analysis.
Of course, maybe I have done many things myself that make me seem cheap.
Now, I am quite confused. I want the teacher to help analyze, what are some cheap behaviors that men exhibit when pursuing women.
Your fan, Lin Zi
Lin Zi:
Some men indeed tend to exhibit behaviors that seem cheap. Such pursuits not only fail to win women over but can also hurt oneself.
You realizing this point is actually good. From your description, your overall conditions should be okay. That is to say, your strengths should be good.
It’s just that, your soft skills, especially in terms of love experience, are probably lacking. Therefore, you need to consciously improve in this regard.
During the process of pursuing women, there are 3 most common cheap behaviors that men should avoid.
First: Feeling good about oneself and giving based on one’s own subjective judgment.
Many men tend to do this when pursuing women. They think highly of themselves, thinking they understand women well. But in reality, it’s all in their heads.
Men who truly understand how to pursue women don’t rely on subjective judgments. Their every action is based on thinking from a woman’s perspective. Only when you truly understand how to empathize, can you truly achieve success.
Because of this, you can truly grasp what women really want. By being more targeted in your efforts, you will naturally gain a woman’s favor.
Men need to understand this logic from the start.
If you always feel good about yourself and fail to empathize, that is a cheap behavior. You might think you’re clever, but women might find you naive.
So, men need to understand this point themselves.
Second: Not communicating with a woman, then directly buying things for her.
This is something many men like to do.
Their logic is: I think these things are good, so giving them to you is being nice. But you should understand that everyone has different preferences. Just because you think it’s good doesn’t mean the other person has to accept it, right?
Clearly, this shows a lack of respect for women. From a woman’s perspective, this behavior is cheap.
Some rush to be good to women. In such cases, women will not be attracted to you.
What you need to do is understand a woman’s preferences. Then make her understand that you will provide for her. However, this is based on both parties genuinely wanting to be in a relationship and not seeking love through material gestures.
It’s about love being given willingly.
If you understand this logic, pursuing women will be much more effective. For men, when pursuing women, it requires using your brain.
Don’t rush into things, don’t fantasize. Most of the time, going with the flow naturally might help you gain more. This approach will be beneficial for our pursuit.
Third: Being too eager to pursue a woman and displaying it excessively.
Some men easily reveal their feelings of love.
Even if you really like a woman, don’t show it. Because if you do, she can easily take advantage of you. Once a woman manipulates you, you fall into a passive situation.
When we pursue women, we need to be in control. Men need to understand this.
If you are too passive and let a woman manipulate you, you won’t be able to act according to your own desires. This will lead to obstacles in your pursuit.
It’s crucial to make women understand that you can like them, but you don’t need them. Only by doing this can you both engage on equal terms. This is when good feelings can truly emerge. Otherwise, it will only result in failure.
Men need to understand this point clearly. Because many men don’t grasp this logic. They come across as submissive.
Such men are unappealing to women. Men need to seriously think about this.
That’s a brief analysis, hope it’s helpful to you.
