Yang Lan said: “When interacting with men, the more perfunctory and aloof you are, the more they will love you; once you start to care and listen, it’s as if they have seized your weakness, becoming hot and cold towards you.”
In the realm of love, we often seek that balance—neither completely losing ourselves in deep feelings for others nor neglecting the value of ourselves. Love should be a mutual nourishment, not a one-sided sacrifice or dependency.
When faced with the temptation of love, especially when the person we admire launches an intense pursuit, it is crucial to maintain a sense of clarity and composure. Not every moment of passion can lead to lasting happiness; true love requires the sedimentation of time and the joint efforts of both parties. Learning to maintain oneself in love is not indifference; rather, it is a form of maturity and wisdom.
The story of Zhang Ailing and Hu Lanchen acts like a mirror, reflecting the tragedy that may arise from losing oneself in love. Her deep affection and low profile, although touching, became stumbling blocks on her emotional journey. This reminds us that before loving others, we must first know how to love ourselves, maintaining our independence and dignity.
Love should be the mutual attraction and closeness of two souls, not one party’s unconditional indulgence of the other. As the dialogue in “Big Fish & Begonia” states, even if the ending is not satisfactory, the courage once had to love boldly is still worth cherishing. But more importantly, we must learn to grow in love, to embrace life and continue moving forward even after loss.
For men, they may inherently possess a desire for conquest and exploration. Therefore, maintaining a certain sense of mystery and distance in love can actually stimulate their interest and curiosity. This does not mean deliberately distancing or being indifferent, but rather finding that subtle balance between giving and receiving.
At the same time, we must understand that true happiness does not rely entirely on what others provide. Striving to improve ourselves, becoming better and stronger individuals, is the key to unlocking the door to happiness. When you become financially independent, principled, and unique, you will find that you can face life with greater confidence and attract more like-minded people.
Finally, let us remember Chanel’s classic slogan: “If there is one thing we must do, it is to love ourselves wholeheartedly.” The rest of our lives are still long, so please love yourself well, for only self-love can be the most solid support in our journey through life. May we all find that balance in the world of love, neither losing ourselves nor failing to create a beautiful future together with others.
