After returning home for the summer vacation, the child’s original routine of studying and living rhythm was disrupted; irregular schedules and lack of initiative in studying became the focal point of conflict between parents and children. “Why aren’t you getting up yet? Why haven’t you done your homework yet? Why are you always on your phone?” Many parents urge and blame their children, often unable to stop themselves from getting angry, making the parent-child relationship increasingly tense. Afterwards, even though parents know that getting angry doesn’t solve the problem, they still find it difficult to control.
The reasons leading to this situation generally include the following:
Parents have a different understanding of studying compared to their children. For example, parents may believe that genuine studying requires dedicating all time to academics, while children may feel that as long as they have tried their best and have a clear conscience, it should be enough.
Some parents, even though they may understand their children’s perspective, still get angry. This could be because parents regret not giving their utmost effort in studying in the past, so when their children don’t give their all, it may trigger the parents’ internal anger.
Furthermore, parents getting angry at their children might also be a way of expressing dissatisfaction with their partner or other family members. Often, this is just a means of venting emotions and does not truly solve the underlying issues.
When unable to control their anger, how should parents manage their emotions?
Firstly, parents should promptly recognize if they harbor internal feelings of disappointment and anger. If these emotions exist, they should adjust promptly or seek help from professionals to avoid being controlled by these emotions and affecting normal interactions with their children.
Secondly, parents can learn some emotional management techniques, such as clenching fists or deep breathing, to remind themselves to pause before blaming their children. Communication driven by emotions most often leads to arguments, and even if the child reluctantly accepts the parent’s emotions, this state cannot be sustained in the long run.
Lastly, proper rest is also crucial. When a person is excessively tired, their emotions are more likely to be triggered. Therefore, parents should balance their work and life, engage in activities like exercise and reading to ensure their body and mind are in a relaxed state. If they are unable to harmonize work and life through their efforts, early consultation and therapy are recommended.
Source: Health Report
