An old man spoke about his childhood. When he was young, he didn’t like studying and was quite mischievous. There were a few times he secretly used the money his mother gave him for lunch at school to buy snacks instead. Later, when his father found out, he was terrified and thought he would be punished. However, his father’s reaction surprised him greatly.
His father called him over and gently asked, “Think carefully, was what you did really right?” After hearing his father’s words, he felt even more embarrassed and ashamed of his mistake. From then on, whenever he made a mistake, he would always remember his father’s teachings, which helped him understand the importance of taking responsibility for his actions.
This man is the highly respected academician Zhong Nanshan, who during this pandemic has shown us his excellence. The method of education he received as a child was truly unexpected; it was his father’s gentle way of teaching that nurtured such an outstanding person. This is something every parent should learn from and reflect on: when children make mistakes, how should we react?
Before disciplining children, one must first manage their own emotions.
Moreover, children who frequently face anger and scolding from their parents suffer greater emotional harm, which can lead to developing a habit of lashing out at others. This also greatly damages the parent-child relationship, making it difficult to create a harmonious and relaxed atmosphere at home.
Understand the meaning behind each wrong behavior.
After a concert, a daughter asked her mother, “Why did that lady keep using a stick to scare that uncle? He was yelling the whole time!” The mother was taken aback. Although children and adults observe the same scene, their understanding of it can be vastly different.
Forgiving a child’s mistakes doesn’t mean avoiding reprimand; it’s about managing the balance. It’s not about indiscriminately scolding them but guiding them patiently to learn from their mistakes. It’s important to note that sometimes children may need to experience the same mistake multiple times before they truly learn.
Guide children on the right path and hold them accountable for their mistakes.
Once children realize that their behavior is wrong, they often don’t know how to avoid similar problems in the future. So, besides making the child “pay the price” for their mistakes, parents need to guide them on what to do next.
For instance, if a child accidentally breaks a bowl, they should clean it up themselves and be reminded to be more careful with fragile items in the future. If siblings argue, beyond just apologizing, they should also find ways to make amends, such as sharing their favorite snacks or toys. Helping children correct their mistakes is a key step in instilling a sense of responsibility.
Protect the child’s self-esteem and offer support.
I once saw a father making his child kneel at the community entrance holding a picture of a “pig head” because the child frequently called others “pig head.” The child buried their head low, fearful of the glances from passersby. It’s easy to imagine how much psychological harm this could inflict on the child.
One must believe that psychological support gives children ample strength to confront their mistakes. This way, if they err in the future, they will be better able to promptly rectify their errors and better understand how to reduce the occurrence of such behaviors.
Mistakes made by children are not intimidating; what matters is the manner in which parents handle them, as this can have a significant impact on the child’s life. Children are a mirror reflecting the educational quality of their parents. Thus, if parents want their children to excel, they should also strive to enhance their own parenting skills.
Parents shouldn’t fear their children making mistakes, nor should they restrict them from making mistakes. Errors can be valuable learning experiences. With proper guidance, the mistakes made can turn into treasures on the child’s path to growth. Slowly nurture your child with love and reason, allowing them to come closer to the sunlight!
