At the beginning of the school season, for many families, it is not only a new start of hope but also a possible source of challenges and confusion. Do you know if your child has thoughts like “not wanting to go to school,” “having trouble adjusting to school,” “not knowing how to study after school starts,” or “having difficulty adapting to school”? If so, parents should take note as it might be the breeding ground for “school aversion emotions.”
What is school aversion?
School aversion refers to a collective term for negative emotions towards learning. It is when a child goes from not wanting to learn to not liking to learn, and even develops a mindset of becoming bored and disgusted with learning, leading to avoidance. Essentially, school aversion is a child’s escape response to immense pressure, a form of self-protection.
School aversion can be categorized as follows:
1. Mild school aversion. Children mainly show a slight unwillingness towards learning psychologically;
2. Moderate school aversion. The degree of a child’s aversion deepens, and they start using avoidance methods, such as pretending to be sick, skipping classes, or avoiding school;
3. Severe school aversion (school aversion syndrome). Children’s behavior shows noticeable pathological tendencies, exhibiting extreme behaviors and psychological states.
Different types of students may have varying performances, but they all have a significant impact on their academic achievements. So, as parents, how can you help children reinstate their confidence in learning?
Here is a recommended method for parents: try to communicate more with your children, understand their inner thoughts and feelings. During these conversations, you can guide them to reflect on some questions:
– Why don’t you like studying?
– What do you hope to gain from studying?
– What kind of study methods do you think suit you?
If your child is unclear or unsure about this, it’s essential to communicate more with them, identify the reasons why they don’t enjoy studying, understand the reasons for their fear of studying, and then take action to help them.
It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that I can’t see hope
[Reason] Lack of understanding of personal strengths
Every school has students like these, who cannot see hope, seemingly studying but actually teetering on the edge of giving up.
The root cause lies in their subjective evaluation of their capabilities, where they tend to entirely negate their abilities based on one or two failures. Their resilience in face of adversity is low, and some even fall into despair.
[Solution]
In the secondary school stage, discovering and unlocking one’s potential requires the help of teachers and parents, who can provide constructive advice based on their rich life experiences.
Parents can encourage children to pursue their interests because usually where interests lie, so do their strengths. However, it’s important to consider if the interests align with the environmental conditions. If they do not, and you cannot change the environment, then it’s essential to consider developing secondary potentials.
Finally, and most importantly, maintain an open mindset.
To gauge your level of open-mindedness, you can list things you are usually uninterested in or dislike in a notebook, analyze them, identify which ones are fundamental issues, which are not, and determine if sticking to non-fundamental issues is limiting your perspective or impeding the discovery and development of your potential. The more taboos and restrictions one has on non-fundamental issues, the less the chances of discovering one’s potential.
It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that I don’t know why I should learn
[Reason] Lack of clear goals
We have all been through adolescence, and who isn’t lost during their youth! It’s normal to be perplexed about the real purpose of learning, especially during the middle school phase. Confusion is understandable as everyone is different. However, developing school aversion or deeming studying useless due to misunderstanding this issue is not correct.
[Solution]
Setting correct goals is determining the life you want to lead and then choosing the tools to achieve that goal. Thus, your life will not deviate from its intended path.
For instance, if your life goal is to be a happy and contributive person, after clarifying this ultimate goal, then proceed to pick your tools.
It is essential for parents to discuss this issue with their children, assisting them in setting clear goals, aiding in self-positioning, showing them a visible future, and reigniting their motivation for learning.
It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that I can’t learn
[Reason] Low learning skills
Some students put in just as much effort as the top students in their class regarding study time. However, the endless academic pressures can overwhelm them, making them feel inferior as they see top students effortlessly achieve top ranks while they struggle even with their hard work, leaving them mentally exhausted.
These students are typical examples of “diligent individuals with low quality.” Their diligence is just a performance for others and themselves, perhaps to hear praise like “you’re truly working hard” from teachers and parents or to not regret their efforts by convincing themselves that it’s not due to lack of effort, rather “their mind is too dull.”
However, such children are the ones who can most easily transition from struggling students to excellent students in a short period because all they lack is an effective learning method and some time to organize and manage what they previously worked hard to learn.
[Solution]
Encourage children to pause and reassess themselves; during busy or aimless times, consider taking moments to stop and clear your mind. This approach helps in being more self-aware and reducing “futile efforts.”
Next, deeply analyze fundamental knowledge, follow the teachers’ review plans, master the basic textbook knowledge, fully understand basic questions, and become the king of classroom and efficiency by grasping the class insights.
It has been proven that understanding and pondering over fundamental knowledge is far more beneficial than merely swallowing vast amounts of knowledge.
Last but not least, discover and adopt methods that suit you, build your own knowledge framework.
You can establish a book of mistakes where after each exam, actively analyze the paper, dissect the points lost in each question. Even if you get a full score, it’s crucial to earnestly review and learn from the experience.
Learn from classmates who score higher than you and those who organize their mistakes well, humbly absorb their strengths, and help yourself progress better.
It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that I can’t learn
[Reason] Low cognitive abilities
This category of students, to some extent, can be approached similarly to students who can’t learn because “can’t learn” is the result of “not being able to learn.” As you tread further down the road of being unable to learn, feeling mentally fatigued and yet agitated, you exhibit a sort of “glow of dusk” state.
Congratulations, you have successfully transitioned from “being unable to learn” to “can’t learn.”
The root of “can’t learn” lies in poor cognitive abilities. Research indicates that from seventh grade to ninth grade, children’s cognitive capabilities don’t universally improve; those with higher cognitive abilities noticeably stand out during this phase compared to those with lower cognitive abilities.
[Solution]
Cognitive abilities encompass observation, memory, imagination, and attention. Parents’ relationships, family atmospheres, and childhood surroundings all impact the improvement of a child’s cognitive abilities.
For students who can’t learn, after simple rejuvenation and refining learning methods, they quickly realign with intense study atmospheres. Conversely, students who can’t learn due to their cognitive level constraints require some time to relax, completely readjust their state, and open their minds.
It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that I can’t learn
[Reason] Unstable emotions
Some students attach excessive importance to ranking and others’ opinions, leading to extreme anxiety before every exam, impacting their performance during exams and subsequent learning enthusiasm.
Emotions have a significant impact on learning. Positive emotions include curiosity, joy, optimism, and confidence; negative emotions comprise anguish, anxiety, and depression.
Adolescents’ emotions fluctuate rapidly, and if these emotions are not timely guided and regulated, they can develop emotional communication barriers, express anxiety, anger, affecting normal life and learning.
[Solution]
Aside from being attuned to children’s emotional changes and offering comfort and guidance, teachers and parents need to teach children to regulate their emotions.
This includes self-motivation techniques, language suggestion techniques, environment adjustment techniques, diversion adjustment techniques, and music regulation techniques.
If results fall short and a sense of disappointment or anxiety arises, don’t hold these emotions in, address them, and release them. Tell your child that it’s human nature, and everyone experiences performance fluctuations; one must have the right perspective on exams.
Afterward, listen to soothing music, relax in beautiful environments, engage in physical activities until you’ve worked up a sweat, allowing negative emotions to naturally dissipate.
In conclusion, if a child can articulate “It’s not that I don’t want to learn; it’s that…”, then congratulations, this indicates that the child is aware of existing problems. It’s our responsibility to nurture the remaining interest in learning, assist them in overcoming current challenges using appropriate methods.
The Influence of Teachers and Parents
For children with school aversion, aside from internal reasons, external factors cannot be overlooked. After all, their immature minds are easily influenced externally.
Reasons related to teachers: School aversion in children is often closely related to teachers, especially during the first year of secondary school or the first year of high school after a teacher switch.
During this phase, getting acquainted between teachers and students is a gradual and often lengthy process. Many students, especially those who were the teacher’s “favorites” before, may feel neglected under a new teacher, leading to disliking the teacher and consequently disliking learning.
Some teachers evaluate students solely based on academic performance, which can also lead to school aversion among students with less than outstanding grades.
Reasons related to parents: When parents have excessively high expectations for their children, use a one-dimensional evaluation approach, emphasize only results over processes, and place immense pressure on children, making them feel like they are studying for their parents, repeated failures to meet ideal results can lead to reprimands, feelings of defeat, eventually leading to school aversion.
Some students’ school aversion may stem from singular reasons, while for others, it may result from multiple factors.
[Solution]
1. More encouragement
2. Setting a goal
Entering high school is about preparing for college. This goal is accurate, but for many students, it may be too broad, too vague, or too distant to provide significant motivation.
It’s essential to set small, achievable goals, like surpassing a classmate at a similar level, continuously meeting these small goals to foster a sense of success and achievement, which will keep propelling the child towards the ultimate goal.
3. Embrace change
When facing school aversion, the most crucial factor is the child’s self-change. It’s vital to discern whether the aversion stems from a lack of desire to study or from struggling to study and then find suitable solutions based on the root cause.
4. Avoid putting excessive pressure on children or setting unrealistic expectations
Every parent desires their child to be exceptional, to have a successful future. The wish for their children to achieve greatness is understandable, but once goals become detached from reality and set too high, it could backfire and diverge from the original aspirations. The inspirational Thai public service short film “Every day, make a little progress,” articulates a poignant message. It narrates the story of a boy deeply passionate about soccer but lacks fundamental skills—he’s slow, can’t jump high, and has zero heading technique. This lack of proficiency deeply discourages him. Luckily, his mother encourages him, telling him that making daily progress is enough. Restoring his confidence, he practices repeatedly, run after run, jump after jump each time higher. Finally, during a game, he scores a goal using his weakest heading technique, saving the entire team. I particularly appreciate the mother saying, “I may not be the best mother because I don’t expect my child to always be the first; I just hope he surpasses himself a little every day.” This teaches us that parents don’t need to burden children with excessive pressure and unrealistic expectations; continual personal progress is the greatest advancement.
As Professor Li Meijin stated, each child has their learning pace and interests. It is the role of parents and educators to guide them in discovering the right learning path tailored to them, based on love, understanding, and respect, facing challenges together, and finding solutions.
END
Reference Source: Compiled from various internet sources, please contact for removal due to infringement
Editor| Wang Lingjuan
Images & Texts| Internet (subject to removal)
