I walked out of the hospital in silence.
In my hand was a psychological assessment form.
Depression.
The doctor tried to calm my emotions, “Although leaning towards severe depression, as long as you actively cooperate, you will get better soon.”
I stared at my toes, nodding silently.
In my ears, I could almost see my mother’s anxious expression; she didn’t like me this way.
“You’ve delayed too long, it’s best to have family support,”
The doctor seemed to notice my resistance.
I hid the medical records and quietly went home.
My mom was cooking, and she saw my furrowed brow.
“Your teacher called me to say you didn’t go to the dance class, what’s going on?”
I didn’t answer, just muttered softly, “Mom”
I tried to hug her.
But she pushed me away and started scolding me.
From me being unreliable and not hardworking to the electronic piano I gave up in childhood, the dance I didn’t learn.
Finally, my mom said, “No dinner tonight”
I hung my head, already used to it.
It was my mom’s punishment for my mistakes from childhood to adulthood.
At night, my dad came back, and my mom complained to him.
“You little brat, have you grown up?”
He scolded me vehemently, pointing at my nose.
Without asking for a reason, my dad unhesitatingly sided with my mom.
My mom cried and shouted, “We work so hard to earn money to support you, why are you so useless?”
“Mom, do you really love me?” I rarely didn’t stay silent.
My mom was stunned and called me an ungrateful child.
She thought I was arguing with her.
At night, I stared at the ceiling blankly, tears uncontrollably streaming down.
I saw a pen lying on the table.
It’s okay, it won’t hurt once I’m numb, I picked up the weapon, drawing bloodstains on my hand.
I decided to follow the doctor’s advice.
During breakfast, I mustered up the courage to try to explain this matter in a light-hearted manner.
“It’s not serious, the doctor said it can be treated…”
My mom didn’t even let me finish before interrupting, “What depression are you talking about, if anyone should be depressed, it should be me; what have we done to deserve this, why do you want to retaliate against us like this?”
I immediately fell silent, like a child who did something wrong, nervously rubbing my hands.
For a moment, I felt like I was back to my childhood when I wasn’t the best and my mom locked me out, with all the neighbors watching as she slapped my face, leaving it swollen and embarrassed.
