Minor conflicts in the parent-child relationship—arguing back—often leave parents feeling troubled. Faced with their child’s rebellious words, parents may feel angry or disappointed. However, by shifting perspectives and attempting to empathize with the child’s emotional world, communication between both parties might achieve a more harmonious and effective breakthrough.
A child’s arguing back is, in fact, a signal of emotional release. Their inner world may be experiencing struggle, dissatisfaction, or helplessness, and arguing becomes an outlet for expressing these emotions. Parents need to recognize this aspect and make an effort to connect with their child’s inner feelings and understand their true emotions.
When a child is emotionally agitated and argues back, parents can first take a deep breath to remain calm and respond gently, saying, “I can sense that you are very angry. Would you like to talk about the reason?” Such a response helps the child feel understood and accepted, reducing their defensiveness and making them more willing to open up.
Empathic communication is an art of deep connection. It requires us not only to listen to words but also to understand the heart behind them. By applying empathy, parents can more accurately grasp their child’s thought patterns and needs, deepening the emotional bond and trust between them.
Encourage children to express themselves boldly: “Your thoughts are important; share them with me, I won’t get angry.” Such encouragement empowers children to share their innermost thoughts, enhancing the depth and fluency of communication.
As role models, parents’ behavior has a significant impact on children. In communication, parents should also express their personal feelings and needs honestly, demonstrating how to handle emotions rationally; children will imitate and learn mature emotional management.
Perspective-taking is the core of empathy. Looking at issues from a child’s standpoint can help us more deeply understand their behavior and emotions, effectively easing the tension between parents and children, allowing the child to feel abundant love and support.
Respecting the child’s independence and acknowledging their right to independent thinking is crucial. In communication, provide children with space to express their own views, which will encourage them to be more confident and self-reliant.
Establishing a trust-based parent-child bond is vital. Ensure that children believe they have their parents’ support and encouragement at all times; this trust empowers them to share and face life’s challenges.
Frequent and sincere communication is a bridge to reinforce the parent-child relationship. Take time to listen to the child’s voice, share snippets of each other’s lives, and express one’s insights and suggestions, growing together.
Arguing back should not be seen as an insurmountable obstacle. Through empathy and understanding, effective communication can lead us to solutions. Let empathy guide us to connect with our children’s hearts, hand in hand, creating a parent-child environment filled with understanding, respect, and harmony.
