BLUELION
In this fast-paced era, it seems that each of us carries an invisible burden on our shoulders. Work, family, social life… the pressure is like invisible ropes tightly entwined around our minds, making it hard to breathe.
But stress is not an invincible enemy. As long as we master the right methods, we can easily cope. Today, Dr. Wei Zhichao, a Ph.D. in psychology from East China Normal University and author of “Why Elephants Can’t Obey: 25 Psychological Principles Behind Human Behavior,” will share with us 13 stress-relief tips.
From simple breathing exercises to deep self-reflection, these techniques have been scientifically validated, and we believe they can effectively help you relax, boost work efficiency, and start your new week with energy!
01
Create muscle fatigue to burn cortisol
One way to relieve stress is to use the body’s fatigue to burn cortisol.
The author of “The Brain Likes to Hear You Say This” has a smart tactic. Sometimes, due to excessive stress, he blanks out before a speaking engagement and can’t even remember what he wants to say.
In such situations, he quickly releases stress by doing deep squats. Squatting against a wall for 30 to 60 seconds is quite challenging. When muscles exert force, the stress hormone cortisol is consumed. As cortisol is depleted, our perceived stress levels decrease. Moreover, because the movement is strenuous, we also unconsciously start deep breathing, which helps in relaxation.
This method can rapidly relieve acute stress and is suitable for situations like speeches, interviews, exams, or other highly tense moments.
02
Practice breathing: Inhale quickly, exhale slowly
Breathing is a method to quickly transition the body out of an anxious state.
This breathing exercise is simple—breathe in while mentally counting 1, 2, 3, 4, and exhale while mentally counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, ensuring that exhaling takes twice as long as inhaling. Of course, you can adjust the numbers based on your lung capacity.
Fast inhales and slow exhales allow the parasympathetic nervous system to replace the sympathetic nervous system, leading to a quick calming effect on the body.
03
Listen to books before bed to relieve stress-induced insomnia
Many times, our inability to fall asleep results from constant thoughts swirling in our minds, making it hard to stop. Thus, we need a focal point to gather our thoughts. This focal point must be captivating enough to hold attention but not too vivid to evoke excitement.
For Dr. Wei Zhichao, the method he found was to use the “Audiobook” feature on the Duokan Reading app before bedtime.
“The books I choose are usually historical books, which can capture my attention without being as exciting as novels, helping me focus. The monotonous, rhythmless voice on Duokan Reading is also very soothing and hypnotic. The combination of these factors allows me to fall asleep within a few minutes.”
04
Combat stress by creating feedback
How can we cleverly create feedback in life and trigger dopamine? The method is to play prediction games.
Simply by making predictions, regardless of their accuracy, as long as there is feedback, dopamine is generated.
For instance, a girl was preparing to apply for a teaching position at a school where one of the professors interviewing her was famously critical and challenging. The night before the interview, she was extremely nervous. How did she overcome the anxiety? She came up with a creative idea: she decided to play a prediction game and forecasted what offensive things the professor would say to her the next day.
She wrote down each statement on a piece of paper with little check-boxes beside them. Then, she memorized them. The next day, the professor indeed blurted out a sentence that she had written down in advance. As each prediction hit the mark, she ticked the corresponding box in her mind and added some sound effects. The emotional challenges had no impact on her because for each correct prediction, dopamine was released in her brain. She enjoyed playing this game in her mind and did not take those offensive remarks to heart, maintaining a jovial attitude throughout, which led to her successful recruitment.
This subtle coping technique for addressing anxiety is quite clever, essentially creating a game even when there isn’t one — playing a game in reality. Such a mindset and approach are worth learning.
05
Reduce mental burden through redundant backups
Redundant backups involve preparing text in advance that exceeds what is needed. With provisions in hand, one remains calm.
This approach ensures that even if there are lapses or mental blanks, related thoughts will emerge. It helps you maintain coherence so that the audience won’t notice any minor slips on your end. It also prevents inner panic.
06
“Emotional Labeling” to alleviate negative emotions
By clearly articulating emotions, their intensity diminishes.
Shakespeare wrote in “Macbeth”: “If you cannot express your sadness, it will forever murmur in your heart, until it breaks and falls apart.” Shakespeare, the keen observer of human nature, astutely noted that simply expressing a negative emotion can bring inner relief.
Expressing emotions through writing yields particularly good results. For example, jotting down one’s emotional fluctuations of the day in a diary often helps soothe heightened emotions. Karen, the COO of a major Hollywood production company, has an interesting habit. When someone offends her, she writes an email expressing her disapproval but never sends it, just keeping it in the drafts. She found that this practice helps reduce feelings of anger, allowing her to quickly refocus on work.
Psychologists refer to the process of expressing inner emotional feelings through talking or writing as “emotional labeling.” The crucial aspect is to identify emotions through linguistic analysis, that is, “labeling.”
So, when faced with troubles and distress, consider Shakespeare’s advice – try opening up to a trusted person or jot down your inner feelings on paper. However, it must be noted that mindless venting isn’t constructive; rather, the goal is to describe emotions in words.
07
Not Your Fault:
Distinguish between “changeable” and “unchangeable.”
The Stoic school suggests a highly effective emotional regulation principle: “Face calmly what cannot be changed, and strive wholeheartedly to change what can.” This concept urges us to view reality objectively, accept unchangeable circumstances, rather than dwell in fruitless complaints and sorrow. Instead, we should focus on the areas we can control, actively tackle and put effort into changing.
This seemingly simple advice contains profound logical necessity and can be considered as an effective antidote to emotional exhaustion. After all, why waste energy on contemplating things that cannot be altered? It defies common sense. When we cease fighting against unchangeable reality and divert our energy towards changeable matters, we can avoid squandering valuable time and effort on pointless internal conflict.
However, it should be emphasized that “accept the unchangeable, change the changeable” does not imply blind acceptance without critique. What can be changed and what cannot can fluctuate as one’s experiences and capabilities evolve. Therefore, this philosophy does not confine us to our limited realm but encourages continuous evaluation of what can be done, guiding us to exert our abilities in areas where we can make a tangible impact at each stage of life.
08
Reinterpret Emotions
In a way, emotions can be seen as products constructed by the brain.
The placebo effect is a classic example of emotion construction. When individuals believe they are taking a pain-relieving medication, even if receiving an ineffective placebo, they can experience a reduction in pain.
This phenomenon stems from the impact of strong internal expectations, prompting the brain to alter its perception of pain. My mentor, Professor Yang Zhiliang, conducted a notable study on acupuncture pain relief, affirming that participants receiving acupuncture unconsciously established new criteria to evaluate pain, leading them to genuinely feel a reduction in pain sensation.
When employing the strategy of “cognitive reappraisal” in practice, the key lies in changing perspectives on the issue.
Here are several common strategies for changing perspectives:
Firstly, transform threats into challenges. For instance, when facing setbacks at work, don’t view them as personal inadequacies but as opportunities for learning and growth.
Secondly, explore positive elements in events. For instance, if you’re late due to traffic, consider that time as an unexpected break to relax, listen to music, and unwind.
Furthermore, try to take a long-term view of problems. Ask yourself, will this matter as much in five years? This helps broaden your perspective and alleviate current emotional stress.
Moreover, try empathy: If advising a friend, how would you analyze the situation?
09
Adjusting states based on personality types
To reduce stress, individuals of different personality types need to make varying adjustments to their states.
For introverted individuals, the focus is lowering “activation levels.” Biologically, introverts are in a state of heightened alertness and tension, termed “high activation.” In order to perform comfortably, introverts need to keep their activation levels low. Therefore, introverts should try to minimize exposure to excessive stimuli, especially in social contexts, before preparing to face significant challenges.
On the contrary, extroverts need the opposite approach.
10
Sharing Information Is More Effective than Direct Persuasion
Much of our stress stems from interpersonal communication, such as the difficulty in persuading others or family disputes.
To address this, instead of convincing directly, sharing information is more effective.
“A prophet is not without honor except in his own town.” In the eyes of their family, your prestige automatically decreases. It’s often easier to persuade a complete stranger than family members.
Hence, rather than engaging in direct debates, “forward” what you see to your family, allowing outsiders to help persuade your family members directly.
11
Think About “Life is Short”
When feeling overwhelmed to the point of unbearable stress, consider this: life consists of only 900 months. In just 900 months, we all face death.
Compared to the ultimate stress of “life is short,” daily stress becomes insignificant. Life is short, and throughout our lives, we seek happiness, health. Why burden ourselves so heavily?
12
Long-term Perspective
Except for a few geniuses, most exceptional performance, as in “Merchant Wang,” relies on practicing until proficient. Just as eloquence, sports, performance, etc., can all be honed through practice, control over one’s emotions and resilience are also developed through practice.
Bill Gates has reiterated this viewpoint multiple times.
Gates stated in his 2007 Harvard University commencement address: “People often overestimate what they can achieve in a year but underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.”
In a 2013 interview, Gates said: “Most people overestimate what they can do in one day but underestimate what they can do in a year.”
In a 2019 tweet, Gates wrote: “People often overestimate what can be accomplished in two years but underestimate what can be done in ten years. The key is to think long-term and persist.”
Just like learning a language, mastery comes from high-frequency, high-intensity study and practice, sustained over time. Often, Chinese people don’t spend too much time learning English; rather, they don’t spend enough.
13
Anxiety is an adult’s privilege,
Don’t make a fuss about stress being too heavy
Renowned Canadian psychologist Steven Pinker mentioned in his work: as human knowledge increases, so does the need for worry.
Children are carefree all day long; anxiety is an adult’s privilege (relatively, of course, children have their own worries).
Overall, a moderate amount of stress isn’t a bad thing. Firstly, adjust your mindset; as an adult, you will have to face some stress at some point. Accept it with composure; as an adult, there will always be some stress. Embrace it calmly and don’t make a big fuss about the stress being too heavy.
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