The story originates from life and is narrated in the first person. Please read it rationally.
1
Back then, I got married early because my husband was six years older than me. At 22, he was already 28, so his family was eager for us to marry, and I married him at 22.
I gave birth to a son at 23, and by the time he was 25, he also got married. When my son got married, I was only 48, still young.
The reason my son married early at 25 was mainly related to my husband. My husband passed away when my son was in high school. From a poor family, children grow up quickly, so he got married early, resolving my worries.
After my husband’s death, I raised my son alone and never remarried. Later, my son went to a vocational school, then left with his girlfriend, leaving me alone in our hometown.
When my daughter-in-law had a child, I wanted to help take care of the baby, but she preferred her own mother to help.
I continued working in our hometown, then found another job after retirement. I spent my retirement money on myself and supported my son and daughter-in-law with my earnings. I believed that if I contributed physically, then I should also contribute financially to maintain equality within the family.
Living alone in our hometown, my son and daughter-in-law were concerned that I might need help and no one to take care of me, so they kept urging me to find a companion. Before my son got married, he never advised me to find a companion. Perhaps influenced by his wife after marriage, he started to understand the importance of being considerate towards his mother.
Initially, when they mentioned finding me a companion, I didn’t take it seriously. However, as I reached 50 and started experiencing menopausal symptoms, I felt the need for a companion for support, especially as my physical health deteriorated. I felt that without a companion, completing daily tasks like applying a plaster on my back would be challenging, and with my son living far away, it seemed impractical for him to return just for support.
My son and daughter-in-law, noticing my change in attitude, then arranged blind dates for me, and sometimes I went out to meet potential partners.
2
The first man I met on a blind date was a widower whose wife and child died in a car accident two years earlier. When we met, he straightforwardly expressed his desire to have a child. I was surprised as I was already 50, and bearing a child seemed unrealistic. He suggested using IVF, where he would cover the expenses, and I would contribute biologically. I declined this proposal.
The second date was with a man of the same age who was divorced with a son and a daughter. Both his children were unmarried, and marrying him would involve arranging weddings for both kids. The responsibility seemed overwhelming, so I turned him down. Despite his persistence with subsequent visits and pursuing me, I remained firm in rejecting his advances. Considering my own circumstances and lack of burdens, it was not a suitable match for me to take on such additional responsibilities.
The third man I met during a blind date had a good background but displayed poor manners during our brief encounter. His behavior, such as spitting and complaining, reflected a lack of etiquette and professionalism, leading me to decide against pursuing any further relationship with him.
Over the next half-year, I went on numerous blind dates that didn’t result in any successful matches, which caused my confidence to decline. Initially, I chose not to pursue a relationship, but now that I wanted to, finding a suitable companion seemed challenging.
Subsequently, I lost interest in blind dates and found them unfulfilling. I realized there was no need to force myself into interactions with unsuitable men when I could live well without a partner. I embraced the idea of letting fate take its course – open to meeting a suitable partner but content with my independent lifestyle. Love is something that can be encountered but not forced, and therefore, I chose not to exert pressure in this regard.
3
At 51, as my vision deteriorated and reading on a phone became challenging, my son bought me a computer with enlarged font settings to assist me.
During a video call with my daughter-in-law on the computer, she encouraged me to chat with my grandson. The interaction left me in high spirits, especially as my grandson affectionately called me “grandma” in the video chat, melting my heart.
This pleasant episode led me to engage in casual conversations with a stranger who added me on WeChat. He shared his loneliness after losing his wife two years ago, explaining how his daughter had moved away, leaving him in solitude. He sought online conversations to alleviate his loneliness.
His situation resonated with mine, as we were of similar age and generation, with him being 55, only four years older than me. These similarities fostered a sense of connection between us.
After chatting for a week, he expressed his desire to find a companion, indicating he saw potential in me. I found his words appealing and resonant with my thoughts. Without a definitive rejection or acceptance, I continued conversing with him. I contemplated the possibility of a future together if our interactions progressed positively.
A week later, he proposed meeting in person to further explore our potential relationship. Initially hesitant, I eventually agreed, understanding that meeting face-to-face would clarify our compatibility. If the interaction was unsatisfactory, we could gracefully part ways, but if it went well, we could consider moving from online to offline and potentially pursue marriage.
We decided to meet in person.
4
His name was Wang, and we referred to each other as brother and sister during our online chats. Residing in a neighboring city, Wang visited my city after a week of online communication between us.
Before his arrival, I arranged his hotel stay, agreeing to only one meeting. Depending on our initial encounter, we would either continue exploring the relationship or remain as online acquaintances.
I picked Wang up from the station and dropped him at his hotel before proceeding to a modest restaurant for dinner. He displayed polite manners, allowing me to order dishes from a simple menu. The bill amounted to 120 yuan, and despite my offer to pay, Wang insisted on settling it first, reflecting a level of courtesy that left a positive impression on me.
After dinner, we continued to bond while strolling through the pedestrian street. Wang expressed his contentment in my company, emphasizing his enjoyment and comfort, especially after unsuccessful past relationships following his wife’s passing.
5
When we reached a mall entrance, I suggested going inside, but Wang suggested leaving, concluding there was nothing of interest. I perceived his reluctance as a subtle gesture to avoid unnecessary spending. Clarifying that I wasn’t seeking financial benefits in our relationship, I viewed him as a genuine prospective partner and not someone from whom to extract material gains.
While Wang paid for dinner, I had covered his hotel expenses, demonstrating my willingness to contribute to our developing relationship. As the evening drew to a close at 9:30, feeling it was time to part ways, I drove Wang back to his hotel.
Upon reaching the hotel entrance, Wang proposed going upstairs together, a suggestion I declined knowing it was premature to consider such an intimate setting. Declining his offer, I sensed the importance of maintaining boundaries until mutual comfort and understanding were established. Not wanting to create any misunderstanding, I opted not to progress beyond what was appropriate at that stage.
Wang hesitated to leave my car, prompting a brief conversation before finally departing for his room as I drove back home. Upon reaching home, I sent Wang a message on WeChat, expecting his prompt reply as observed in our previous conversations. However, to my surprise, he was unresponsive, contrary to his usual quick responses. Assuming he might have missed the message due to sleep, I awaited his reply.
The following day, Wang finally responded, explaining his delayed response due to sleep. Preparing to depart on a 1 p.m. train, I offered to see him off, a gesture he declined, indicating his self-sufficiency. Despite his refusal, I insisted on driving him to the train station.
6
At noon, as I informed Wang via WeChat of my arrival to fetch him for the return journey, I discovered he had deleted me from his contacts.
Perplexed by his abrupt action, I pondered our seemingly positive interactions and his lack of communication. Confiding in a colleague about the incident, her amused reaction hinted at a deeper intention behind Wang’s actions. She playfully hinted that Wang intended a night of intimacy during our meeting, illustrating how our perception of the situation differed.
As my colleague shared a casual moment with her mother and child, I realized her mother’s mentioning of her distant husband matched the description of Wang’s situation. Upon seeing a photo on her phone, I recognized Wang as her father, linking the revelation with our brief engagement. Shaken by this unexpected revelation, I realized the potential consequences of pursuing a relationship with him and the implications of unknowingly involving myself in a complicated situation.
Choosing to keep this information concealed from my colleague, I buried my experience with Wang, deciding to abstain from online relationships and refrain from pursuing a romantic partner.
