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If you want someone to like you, all you need is for them to feel that “being with you is enjoyable.” To turn that liking into a deeper affection, you must help the other person feel your recognition of them, the joy of being together, and that the future with you is something to look forward to.
This kind of deep liking is essentially a form of psychological projection; it is fundamentally their own desire for a happy life in the future. Therefore, if you want to establish their deep affection for you, you only need to focus on the following four points.
【First Point: Create a chemical reaction with the other person】
Some believe that appearance is the key to whether others like you. From the perspective of first impressions, this statement may hold some truth, but in the context of long-term relationships, appearance is not the key to whether two people can continue together.
There is a blogger I have been following for a long time; she is talented and good at writing but lacks confidence in her looks. After being introduced, she met her current partner, who is very handsome, emotionally stable, and treats her well. She mentioned that initially, she didn’t quite believe this person would like her, but her partner said that when he first saw her walking towards him from the crowd, he couldn’t help but feel moved.
Feeling an inexplicable flutter upon first meeting, regardless of whether external or internal conditions match, is that indescribable feeling of attraction unique to romantic partners.
【Second Point: Make the other person feel you are valuable】
I once read a passage in a book,
“The essence of liking is self-interest, just like when we buy a beautiful piece of clothing or a lipstick, the essence is to please ourselves.”
“The essence of liking is self-interest, just like when we buy a beautiful piece of clothing or a lipstick, the essence is to please ourselves.”
There’s a sister in my friend circle who started her own business early, seizing the opportunity in live streaming, and has basically achieved financial independence. Many people are curious about what kind of partner such a beautiful and wealthy person would choose; surprisingly, she chose a boy who is quite ordinary in looks and background.
From the daily videos she shares on her social media, it’s evident this boy takes good care of her, and he speaks humorously, often making her laugh heartily. After observing them for a while, I slowly understood the “just right” dynamic between the two. The boy provides the girl with caring, attention, and emotional value, while the girl offers him material support and enough face; this relationship is mutually beneficial and a sustainable path to happiness for them.
Do not hesitate to acknowledge this point: a person likes you because you are valuable, you bring them joy and happiness in life, and of course, you feel similarly towards them. If someone treats you well at first but is unwilling to continue making an effort later, or even wants to withdraw their previous investment, it indicates that they no longer perceive the possibility of happiness with you.
【Third Point: Meet the other person’s narcissistic needs】
