Emotional expert Tu Lei said:
“Money is not the only measure of true love, but it can gauge the depth of feelings between each other.”
In many intimate relationships, everything seems perfect when money is not discussed, but as soon as money comes up, tensions rise. However, in marriage and daily life, everything is connected to money; only by being open about finances can a marriage truly find happiness.
Talking about money is not about being petty, but about having a clear understanding of reality and making rational plans for the future.
I saw a help post online:
“My boyfriend insists on buying a house before marriage and refuses to let me contribute funds or have my name on it. Should I compromise?”
The original poster has been dating her boyfriend for a year and, considering their age, they plan to buy a house to get married. To secure her future living conditions, she proposed to contribute a portion of the down payment and have both their names on the house, but this was met with strong opposition from her boyfriend’s family since they believed that the boyfriend’s family was bearing the major financial burden and that, since they were not yet married, the girlfriend’s name should not be on the deed. They insisted that she could move in after buying the house before marriage. Ultimately, this led to conflict between the couple.
What upset her the most was her boyfriend’s attitude; he not only failed to understand her but also accused her of creating difficulties for him, completely disregarding his family’s feelings, and made comments about whether or not she wanted to marry.
From this help post, we need not discuss the right or wrong of buying a house before marriage, but we can clearly see from the boyfriend’s attitude that he does not love this girl very much.
In relationships, love and indifference do not require grand gestures to prove themselves; simply observing how he treats you day-to-day makes it clear. A man who loves you is gentle, while a man who does not love you will not hesitate to use harsh words.
01 A man’s attitude determines the warmth of marriage
Jin Xing once said:
“Women are like water; if you meet me at 0 degrees, I will immediately become ice. If you love me at 100 degrees, I will instantly boil. If you treat me at 50 degrees, I will be lukewarm.”
The same principle applies to marriage: only when there is a good husband can there be a good wife. A man’s attitude towards a woman determines the warmth of the family.
In the comments below the help post, another netizen shared her story, stating that she faced a similar challenge but, due to her boyfriend’s different attitude, her mindset was also different, and she ultimately found happiness in her marriage.
Lin Na (pseudonym) and her husband Zhang Lei (pseudonym) were college classmates who dated for six years before deciding to get married, enjoying a sweet and stable relationship.
Zhang Lei’s parents were typical representatives of traditional Chinese patriarchal families. They believed that marriage should follow the pattern of men marrying women and insisted that since after graduation the couple chose to settle in Lin Na’s hometown, Zhang Lei’s parents required the boy to prepare the new home, as they did not want their son to feel the psychological burden of “entry into another family”.
To secure their son’s future family status, Zhang Lei’s parents planned to invest all their savings in a fully paid wedding house. However, when they calculated their total funds, they realized they were still 300,000 yuan short of buying the house in full. At this point, Zhang Lei’s mother suggested that they ask the girl’s family to lend them 300,000 yuan, promising to pay it back after the boy’s housing fund was cashed out. Since the boy’s funds were not sufficient, and the girl’s family had that amount, Lin Na’s mother simply suggested to…
