One: Regarding the affection between divorced couples. In a broken marriage, we often hear the phrase: “In the future, we are still family, we still have affection.” In reality, this statement is the biggest lie for a disintegrated marriage.
People who have experienced marriage all know that the end of a marriage marks the end of the emotional connection between two individuals. Between spouses, the bond is solely based on emotions, and only then do children serve as a bridge for affection.
When a marriage ends, it signifies the conclusion of a form of emotion, in other words, the most basic bond between spouses—emotions—is lost. If there are children involved, the emotional connection between the two individuals and the child remains, while the emotional link between the spouses has vanished. The bridge that is the child constitutes the affectionate efforts of both spouses towards the child, independent of the personal feelings between the spouses. Without children, the spouses become strangers.
People often hold on to the illusion that divorced couples can still maintain affection after losing love (with exceptions for divorced couples who still have affection without major conflicts), but this is the greatest lie about marriage.
Two: Familiarity breeds contempt. Love is often unattainable, becomes wearisome after attainment, and eventually leads to separation…
Love post-attainment transforms into marriage. Therefore, marriage often undergoes the process of becoming wearisome over time and the possibility of parting ways.
So, for those who initially lacked affection and hoped that “familiarity would breed affection,” I believe most experiences of “familiarity” do not lead to “affection,” but rather to “betrayal” and “breakup.”
Whether it’s the notion of affection after divorce or the longing for “familiarity to breed affection” in loveless marriages, both are the biggest lies within marriage!
