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Love is a fervent and frenzied infatuation, an unquenchable blaze.” Richard Finney’s words reveal the passion and uncontrollability of love. However, is love in real life really as beautiful as portrayed?
In this era where “dating is harder than passing the postgraduate entrance exam,” love seems to have become a luxury. Especially for emotional women, once caught in the whirlwind of love, it’s easy to be misled by appearances. Nevertheless, we must understand that not all love stories have a happy ending. Encountering true love is fortunate, while not encountering it is more the norm.
Some individuals wear masks in relationships, deceiving others under the guise of love; some are clueless in expressing affection, keeping their passion hidden beneath a stoic exterior. If women want to have genuine love, they must remain clear-headed in relationships. Only then can they discern whether the love is genuine.
Generally speaking, if a man exhibits the following behaviors in a relationship, it indicates that you are not important to him, and as a woman, you should cut ties promptly and distance yourself from such emotions.
01: A man who doesn’t make commitments to you doesn’t value the relationship
Lin Xiaoyu met her boyfriend Wang Hao at a company annual meeting. They fell in love at first sight and quickly entered into a relationship. Over the next six months, they spent sweet moments together. However, Lin Xiaoyu always felt a lack of security in the relationship.
One day, Lin Xiaoyu mustered up the courage to ask Wang Hao, “Darling, it’s been six months together, can you introduce me to your friends? I want to know more about your life.”
Upon hearing this, Wang Hao’s expression changed slightly, and he hesitated, saying, “Uh… work is too busy right now, let’s talk about it when I have time.”
Disappointed, Lin Xiaoyu lowered her head, thinking to herself, “Why does he always make excuses whenever I mention this topic?”
Some time later, Lin Xiaoyu tentatively asked, “Hao, have you ever thought about our future? Will we get married in the future?”
Hearing this question, Wang Hao appeared flustered, then changed the subject abruptly, saying, “Look at how beautiful the flowers over there are! Let’s go take some photos.”
Lin Xiaoyu forced a smile and followed Wang Hao to take photos, feeling increasingly uneasy.
Finally, one day, Lin Xiaoyu made up her mind and directly said to Wang Hao, “Hao, we have been together for so long, can you take me to your home to meet your parents? I want to meet them.”
Upon hearing this, Wang Hao’s face instantly turned cold, and his tone became stern, “Why are you always fixated on these things? Aren’t we doing well right now?”
Shocked by his reaction, Lin Xiaoyu still mustered the courage to say, “But, we have been together for more than six months, shouldn’t we consider the future?”
Wang Hao suddenly raised his voice, “Do you have to force me to say it? I haven’t even thought about marriage at all! Can’t you stop pestering me all the time?”
This argument shattered Lin Xiaoyu’s illusions completely. She finally realized that Wang Hao had never seriously considered their future together.
A few days later, Lin Xiaoyu suggested a breakup. To her surprise, Wang Hao agreed readily, even looking relieved.
From a psychological perspective, true love cannot exist without commitments. Commitments are not just choices; they are also an expression of responsibility in a relationship. If a man is unwilling to provide even the most basic commitments, he likely doesn’t value the relationship and certainly doesn’t love you.
02: A man who nitpicks about you doesn’t love you at all
Zhang Meiqi and Li Qiang were college classmates who ended up working at the same company after graduation. Their love blossomed quickly, leading them to marriage. Zhang Meiqi thought their marriage would be as harmonious as their work together. Nevertheless, post-marriage life left her greatly disappointed.
One night, Zhang Meiqi worked late at the office and returned home very late. As soon as she entered, she heard Li Qiang’s dissatisfied voice, “Why are you coming back so late again? I’ve been hungry all night!”
Feeling wronged, Zhang Meiqi said, “The project had tight deadlines today, I couldn’t leave. Why didn’t you make something to eat yourself?”
Li Qiang sneered, “Me cook? Have you forgotten that you are a woman? Other people’s wives can run the household smoothly, what about you? You can’t even serve a hot meal!”
His words stung Zhang Meiqi, but she held back her tears, thinking that maybe she wasn’t doing well enough. Thus, she began pondering the balance between family and work in earnest.
After much thought, Zhang Meiqi decided to quit her job and start a small business at home. Despite the reduced income, she felt this decision would better cater to their family life.
Initially, Li Qiang’s attitude did improve somewhat. Zhang Meiqi thought the traditional division of labor, with the man working outside and the woman managing the home, might be more suitable for their marriage.
Until one day, Zhang Meiqi bought a dress she had long admired. Excitedly, she asked Li Qiang, “Honey, do you think this dress looks good on me?”
Li Qiang glanced at her and asked, “How much?”
Zhang Meiqi truthfully replied, “3000 RMB.”
Li Qiang’s face immediately darkened, “Are you out of your mind? Spending so much on a dress? Do you think I have a money-printing machine?”
Stunned, Zhang Meiqi suddenly realized that her husband, whom she was with day and night, didn’t love her at all.
Sweetness in love may blind one to their partner’s true nature. When the passion fades, life’s trivialities reveal a person’s true feelings.
In relationships, conflicts are inevitable. However, a person who truly loves you will be understanding and accommodating, while someone who doesn’t love you will be nitpicky. A man who loves you sincerely always worries about giving too little, while someone who doesn’t love you will always find faults, deeming your efforts imperfect.
03: A man who is perfunctory towards you simply doesn’t care about you
On Zhihu, someone asked, “At what moment did you feel that you and him could never be together again?”
A user responded, “Maybe it was when his perfunctory actions exhausted all the trust I had. I no longer believe any of his promises, nor do I expect any change from him.”
This statement echoes the sentiments of many. Love cannot be sustained by perfunctoriness; a man may be perfunctory for a while, but this behavior cannot last a lifetime.
Wang Xiaolin shared her love story with her best friend. She dated her boyfriend, Chen Hao, for three years without major fights or third-party interference, yet they eventually broke up.
Wang Xiaolin reminisced, “Once, we went shopping together. I found a dress I liked and asked him, ‘Honey, do I look good in this dress?’
Without looking up from his phone, Chen Hao absentmindedly replied, ‘Hmm, it looks good. Whatever you wear looks good on you.’
Feeling a bit disheartened, Wang Xiaolin forced a smile.
Another time, Wang Xiaolin was on her period and had severe stomach cramps. She asked Chen Hao, ‘Hao, my stomach really hurts, can you make me some brown sugar water?’
Chen Hao agreed verbally, ‘Okay, right away.’ But his eyes remained glued to the phone screen, fingers tapping rapidly.
After half an hour, unable to bear the pain any longer, Wang Xiaolin had to go to the kitchen herself to get some water.
On occasions like Valentine’s Day and Qixi Festival, Wang Xiaolin always carefully prepared gifts for Chen Hao. However, upon receiving the gifts, Chen Hao remained calm, merely saying, ‘Thank you, happy holiday.’
One day, Wang Xiaolin couldn’t help asking, ‘Why do you never prepare gifts for me?’
Chen Hao furrowed his brows, impatiently saying, ‘You girls are too troublesome, always needing these fancy things.’ With that, he casually sent her a red envelope via his phone.
Seeing the red envelope notification on her phone, Wang Xiaolin felt a mix of bitterness and regret.
Even the most passionate love cannot withstand prolonged perfunctoriness; even the deepest affection dissipates under perfunctory behavior. If a man repeatedly uses sweet words to appease but fails to show genuine care through actions, then he likely doesn’t truly care about you.
No one wishes to become dispensable in love. A perfunctory attitude only drives love further away. In reality, women’s requests for gifts are not about vanity but about wanting to see genuine affection from their partner.
As the saying goes, “Precious treasures are easily obtained, but a true lover is hard to find.” In love, the most valuable aspect isn’t material possessions but sincere affection. Only those who genuinely cherish their partners can receive their sincerest love.
Hopefully, every woman can stay clear-headed in love, see through the fog to understand the essence of love. Through continual self-improvement, you will eventually meet someone who truly values you. Remember, true love is worth the wait, but it’s also worth fighting for.
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