Now, the term “depression” is appearing more and more frequently in front of everyone, as several celebrities who committed suicide due to depression have brought this issue to unprecedented heights. In fact, many depression patients are struggling in a dark place trying hard to overcome it, but the results are not as expected.
So, what is depression? The World Health Organization defines it as follows: people with depression often feel sad, lose interest and pleasure in everything, lack self-esteem and confidence, experience disrupted sleep quality and appetite, are often drowsy, and have difficulty concentrating. In reality, this is just a simple definition, the world that actual depression patients experience may be hard for others to understand, and severe cases may even lead to suicidal behavior.
In our country, there are tens of millions of depression patients, which means there may be tens of millions of heartbreaking families behind them. Faced with emotional, time, mental, financial and various other torments, what kind of life do these depression families lead on a daily basis? Let’s take a look at the experiences of a few individuals who have gone through this.
“I Almost Made My Whole Family Depressed”
After being diagnosed with depression, chaos ensued in my family. The confident, optimistic, and independent person I used to be in the eyes of my family disappeared, replaced by someone who is increasingly sleepy, untidy, unwilling to get out of bed, reluctant to go out, and often tears up for no apparent reason.
My usually carefree younger brother became especially clingy to me, helping me with meals, pouring water, buying snacks every day, always silently accompanying me; grandmother would call me to get up every few minutes in the morning, afraid I wouldn’t wake up; dad shed tears for the first time in front of me; mom tried every way to cook my favorite meals, make me laugh, as if everyone started tiptoeing around me.
Sometimes, I think I almost made the whole family depressed…
“I Will Always Be the Sunshine of my Daughter’s Future”
My daughter was diagnosed with depression in her freshman year, from initial doubts to acceptance of reality, as a mother, facing this situation, the first thought is not burden but self-blame.
When she shared with me some of the things she had been through, I didn’t realize the severity of the issue, instead, I encouraged her to go out more and play with friends.
When I saw the self-harm pictures she sent me along with a heartfelt message, it hit me like a bolt from the blue, and now my daughter is undergoing treatment, watching TV, eating snacks when she’s feeling good, laughing out loud. When she’s not feeling well, she hardly eats for days, doesn’t speak, locks herself at home, doesn’t take medication on time or skips it.
Now, we are walking on an unknown path, not knowing if we’ll face a storm or a abyss in the future, but we’ll always be there with her, accepting, accompanying, and understanding.
“She’s Driving Us Crazy”
You have no idea how out of line she is, never studies, just plays on her phone all day, her grades have plummeted from good to bad, and she’s always thinking about suicide. So she was bullied when she was young, so we slapped her a few times, we weren’t around her when she was young, and now she’s turned into this. Can’t she understand her parents are tired, are we here to serve our ancestors?
The above are three heart-wrenching examples, but such stories happen in millions of families. The lives of families with depression patients are oppressive and sorrowful, making one feel distressed. When one person is sick, the whole family may also “get sick.” Some family members are cautious, fearing they might do or say something that upsets their loved ones; others are indifferent, adding fuel to the fire by saying depression is just a show. Not all families can be tolerant, understanding, and supportive, and in the eyes of many, depression may seem like a matter of drama, not realizing that such thoughts only hasten their fragile states towards the abyss.
When a family has a friend with depression, what should family members do?
First, identify whether family members are in a dangerous state. Many suicidal behaviors triggered by depression are not impulsive but are considered after many thoughts, feeling that life has no meaning, leaving behind a letter and isolating themselves from the world. Therefore, upon learning that a family member has depression, make sure to identify if they are suicidal, ask patiently, and seek help from others. Perhaps this action alone may not be enough, but to some extent, it can save their lives.
Secondly, practice empathy, imagining oneself in their shoes, not giving unsolicited advice, understanding their pain, unhappiness, and some of their so-called bizarre behaviors, not blindly encouraging. Take a 30-minute walk with them every day, get 30 minutes of sun exposure every day, share three meals a day with them, though these may still not be enough to alleviate their pain, at least make them realize that there are people in this world who love them and are there for them.
