Can your child become a leader?
Some parents confidently answer: my child is born with leadership qualities;
Some parents may hesitate: the leadership potential of the child needs to be explored and developed;
And some parents might simply say, my child is not cut out for it, if everyone can be a leader, then who will be led?
Actually, in this era of mobile internet, we should interpret the essence of leadership with a new perspective: the ability to rally others to achieve common goals, the power to naturally and positively influence others. Even if a child is not naturally adept at being a leader, we can grasp 5 early signals to enhance the child’s leadership potential, find a position where they can maximize their abilities and influence others.
The future belongs to influential people: grasping 5 early signals to cultivate children’s leadership
Can everyone become a leader? Logically, this seems impossible.
However, Dr. Tim Elmore, a leading American scholar who has devoted over 30 years to cutting-edge research and education in leadership, published 25 bestselling books and co-developed leadership courses with many top universities such as Stanford and Duke, firmly believes:
Every child can become a leader, leadership should be discovered and nurtured from a young age.
Why say so? Today, we share with you the essence of Dr. Tim’s newly published blog, from which we can clearly understand why leadership will become a key ability that everyone can and must possess in today and the future world, hoping to bring new inspiration and thoughts to everyone.
Can everyone become a leader?
I once faced thousands of students at a university who were asked this question: “Can everyone become a leader?”
The answer is of course “yes” and “no”, it entirely depends on how you define “leader”. If you define it as the traditional concept of a leader, that is the person in a high position managing many people in an organization, then obviously, the answer is “NO”. Because in this concept, the necessary condition for a leader is the position. Of course, not everyone can become a president, chairman, CEO, or a core figure in a large team. Only a few will ever reach the top of the pyramid.
This definition is not wrong, however, if we interpret the definition of a leader from a more contemporary perspective, you will discover a whole new view. Because, in today’s world reshaped by the internet and the future world, leadership is more about the “calling up” of people in life – the ability to rally others to achieve common goals; leadership fundamentally emphasizes the power to influence others, that is, “influence” – through the use of this power, we can naturally and positively influence others. Based on this essence of leadership, when we think about the question “Can everyone become a leader?” from this perspective, what will the answer be?
Back in 2000, the Kellogg Foundation conducted a research study with scholars from the University of California on the leadership status of students in various North American high schools based on the above essence of leadership, and the conclusions were striking:
Every child has the potential to become a leader
Leadership ability can be educated
Every child must cultivate leadership ability
It can be seen that if we agree that Leadership is influence, then everyone has the opportunity to become a leader, and all objections are just excuses, such as the following 4 common excuses.
Excuse one: I cannot become a leader because I have not been given the corresponding power and position
This excuse is rooted in the traditional definition of a leader. It equates leadership with power and position, but influence and position are not the same. Position can indeed give you the authority to drive those subordinate to you, but this is not leadership, this is coercion. Official titles can give you power, but they cannot give you influence.
Excuse two: I am not naturally good at leading others
Many people believe that some people are naturally born with leadership qualities, while others are not – we should not force everyone to become a leader. However, I have found that in real life, this is not entirely true. In fact, there are two types of leaders: HABITUAL leaders and SITUATIONAL leaders.
Habitual leaders are a tiny group of people with innate leadership aptitude who are naturally good at taking on leadership roles in any organization. They are good at taking responsibility and becoming the core of a team. They habitually exert their leadership.
Situational leaders are the majority of people with average leadership qualifications. They usually do not have the conscious awareness of a leader until they find a position where they can maximize their abilities and influence others. Once they find this position, their leadership potential is activated.
Excuse three: I am very introverted, so I cannot influence others
In many years of teaching leadership, I have educated many children with particularly introverted personalities. Although they are not born as Habitual leaders, they can become Situational leaders. Sociologists have told us that even the most introverted person can influence an average of 10,000 people in their lifetime. In other words, every person, even the shyest, has the ability to influence others, but the extent and depth of the influence may vary from person to person.
Excuse four: If everyone is a leader, then who will be the followers
The hierarchical distinction between leaders and followers is an outdated concept. If we define leadership as influence, then each of us is a leader and a follower. In some areas, I use my power to positively influence others within my world, then I am a leader; at the same time, in other areas, I am influenced by others, then I am a follower. This is not related to position.
Five early signals to help you discover your child’s leadership potential
Leadership must be discovered from an early age and then consciously nurtured. In teaching and research, we have found that children can already emit some early signals of leadership potential at a very young age, the key is whether parents can notice them. We summarize these signals as 5 key traits with the initials P.R.I.D.E.:
P – Perception
R – Responsibility
I – Initiative
D – Dissatisfaction
E – Energy
True leaders mostly possess these 5 key characteristics. In daily life, observe your child based on these 5 key words. Even if they have only one of these traits, it can be judged that the child has leadership potential and is worth nurturing. If they possess all 5 traits, then it can be predicted that this child will definitely grow into an outstanding leader.
Perception:
Children who emit this signal usually show extraordinary observational and cognitive abilities; they can perceive the diversity and variability of things, discover that every event will cause ripple effects around them; they often see a broader and more comprehensive picture, their vision and insights surpass those of their peers.
This ability can be found in very young children. Joel, a 10-year-old boy, one day the whole family and a group of friends gathered at a restaurant. Just as his dad parked the car, Joel jumped out and ran into the restaurant quickly to inform the waiter that they needed to combine 3 tables for the 12 people. This sounds simple, but this small action is very noteworthy. You see, most children around the age of 10 focus on themselves or some game they are obsessed with. Joel can attend to the needs beyond himself, anticipate what is about to happen, and actively take on the task of organizing. One day, these qualities will make him shine in an organization.
How can we help children continue to enhance this trait?
Provide them with more opportunities to participate in organizing tasks of family, community, and social activities, encourage them to observe the flow and details of activities, grasp the interactions between people during the activities, identify issues or areas needing improvement, and try to think of feasible solutions.
Responsibility:
Children emitting this signal usually demonstrate a strong sense of stewardship for what they are responsible for, even under unfavorable conditions, they always want to make every effort to complete tasks and achieve goals. This almost obsessive sense of responsibility can be seen in very young children as well. For example, these children pay attention to the tiny details in the process of a task, notice things that their peers may consider trivial or unimportant; or they are very persistent about results, making sure to achieve the set goals.
The Gallup research institute created a well-known analysis tool many years ago called Strengths Finder, which helps you find your Top 5 strengths out of 34 common internal strengths. Through this tool, it was discovered that almost all people with strong leadership have a sense of responsibility among their Top 5 strengths.
How can we help children continue to enhance this trait?
Share some real exemplary stories with them, such as news personalities, historical figures, etc., to make them understand how these individuals persistently fulfill their missions and tasks in both favorable and adverse conditions; you can also discuss negative cases together, such as the harmful consequences irresponsible behaviors of some people have on others or society.
Initiative:
The third early signal of leadership potential is initiative, the inner drive. Children emitting this signal usually exhibit an extremely proactive nature, whenever they realize that something should be done, can be done, and should yield positive results, they tend to act immediately. They do not wait for approval from parents, teachers, or peers before they act; neither do they wait until they are completely sure that the matter is conventional and safe to act. They immediately take action, experimenting as they go, even if that might not be the most wise or strategic course at that time, or even a completely wrong direction. They do not just wait in place, they bravely put their ideas into practice.
This can often lead to children doing things that seem foolish, being punished often because they are too restless. But we must remember: this is an early signal of leadership. Such children have a strong desire to use their abilities to influence others and change the world. I have seen many such behaviors, like children spontaneously collecting used bottles, organizing fundraisers for friends with cancer, or collecting old clothes and food to donate to those in need – their drive is astonishing because of their potent initiative.
How can we help children further enhance this trait?
First, observe events that can stimulate the child’s initiative. Then, encourage them to find solutions within their reach, discuss these solutions with them, and then wholeheartedly support their actions.
Dissatisfaction:
At first glance, this seems counterintuitive because children emitting this signal appear to have a negative emotion. However, we have found that before they exhibit the passion, capacity, and strategic skills to influence others, what initially surfaces is their inner dissatisfaction. This dissatisfaction usually arises when they face certain situations, for example, when they consider something to be incorrect, unfair, very boring, or even evil, in short, when reality makes them dissatisfied, angry, and eager for change. This emotion looks negative, but in fact, it is positive. If guided properly, its power can be very strong.
As parents, we must sensitively capture this as an early signal of leadership potential, teaching children how to transform their negative emotions of dissatisfaction with reality into constructive positive actions.
How can we help children transform this feeling?
When you notice such emotions in your child, sit down with them and patiently communicate what makes them so dissatisfied. Once the essence of the problem is understood, continue discussing with them what positive actions they can take to change this situation. Finally, help the child put this into practice, transforming their dissatisfaction into a noble mission.
Energy:
The final early signal of leadership is excess energy, as this overflowing energy and passion can infect others.
Many times, people who devote a lot of energy to teamwork usually become team leaders. Colin is a kindergarten kid, his teacher, after observing him for a while, found him to be an exuberant boy with endless energy and passion. The teacher decided to utilize this and made him a class monitor, guiding him to fully leverage his energy in this role. He quickly got into character, becoming an incredibly outstanding class monitor. A week later, Colin proudly told his father that he was a leader. His father asked him what that meant, and Colin earnestly said, “I opened the door for others.” How profound and insightful is this summary of the essence of leadership.
How can we help children utilize their excess energy?
Guide children to discover more positive ways to channel their energy, helping them become a river that benefits all rather than a flood that harms everyone.
Finally, let us embrace the concept “Leadership is influence”. Always teach children to use their talents, skills, and power to influence others, and not use excuses like “I am not Mother Teresa, not physicist Powell, not Bill Gates…” as reasons why they cannot lead. Leadership is an ability that can be discovered and nurtured to varying degrees by each of us. It is only about what kind of person we want to become, not about our position.
Layout/Translator: Bob Wen Liao
Reviewer: Shu Guan
Image source: Internet, delete if infringing.
