If a child is often emotionally unstable, irritable, disobedient, and deliberately provokes elders, classmates, etc., parents must be vigilant! This is not rebellion; it may be a case of Oppositional Defiant Disorder afflicting the child!
I. Oppositional Defiant Disorder
1. Manifestations of Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a behavioral disorder characterized by defiance, hostility, opposition, provocation, easy loss of emotional control, irritability, non-cooperation, and destructive behavior. They harbor hostility towards peers, parents, teachers, or other authority figures. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a common psychological behavioral disorder in childhood, often starting in early childhood and peaking in adolescence. The prevalence of ODD in China is 3.6%, with more boys affected than girls.
Boys with Oppositional Defiant Disorder often exhibit more physical aggression and explosive anger, while girls frequently lie, refuse to cooperate, and express symptoms in other indirect ways.
The behavioral characteristics of Oppositional Defiant Disorder are as shown in the table below:
1. Frequently loses temper;
2. Often argues with adults;
3. Frequently actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules;
4. Often deliberately annoys others;
5. Often blames others for their mistakes or inappropriate behavior;
6. Easily annoyed by others;
7. Often angry and resentful;
8. Often holds grudges or is resentful.
If a child’s symptoms match 4 or more of the above items and have persisted for at least 6 months or longer, parents may consider taking the child to a reputable specialist hospital for examination to see if the child has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
2. Relationship between Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD
Oppositional Defiant Disorder is more common among children with ADHD. Clinical findings show that about 65% of children with ADHD also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. When children with ADHD also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, they not only have issues with impulse control but may also exhibit angry or irritable emotions, and even physical aggression.
These children, being unable to control their emotions, may throw tantrums, hold grudges, intentionally make others sad, blame others for their own mistakes, and may harm classmates unintentionally due to excessive excitement. They may also intentionally criticize and accuse classmates and refuse to apologize.
II. How should parents deal with oppositional defiant behavior?
Most children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder have fragile hearts; they use aggression, anger, and hostility to protect and conceal their inner vulnerability. Dr. Li has 3 suggestions today on how to help children reduce oppositional defiant behavior:
1. Stay calm and create a good family atmosphere
When a child exhibits oppositional defiant behavior, parents resorting to scolding, intimidating, or even violence to control the child can be counterproductive and provide no help for the child’s improvement. If the child’s negative behavior is not dangerous, serious, or offensive to others, parents should try not to pay attention to it.
At the same time, parents should avoid intense emotions and harsh language, not rush to control or correct the child’s behavior, give each other some time and space, improve relations, and engage in communication after emotions have stabilized before proceeding.
2. Maintain the right communication attitude
When a child deliberately provokes you, parents can intervene promptly, but with a serious and calm attitude, resolve the situation quickly, move on afterwards without dwelling on the past incident incessantly.
When children feel that parents’ aim is not to scold them but to respect and help them, the children are more willing to confide their thoughts. Parents should communicate more with their children, help them understand emotions, and express their needs and thoughts rationally.
3. Reinforce the child’s positive behavior
Deep down, every child longs to be a good child, loved, cared for, and protected by their parents. When children exhibit behavioral issues, parents often notice their shortcomings and faults first. This can lead to a psychological gap for many children, causing them to intentionally oppose their parents: “If you point out my flaws, then I’ll deliberately act this way. What can you do about it?”
This necessitates a change in educational strategies, focusing on positive reinforcement for children: such as positive attention, using tokens and specific rewards to enhance good behavior. Employ language strategies to communicate empathetically with children, making it easier to understand their inner world. When children feel cared for and accepted by their parents, they are more likely to open up, paving the way for smooth communication and for children to heed parents’ advice.
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Guangzhou Angel Children’s Hospital
Healthy child, happy family!
