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Lately, many girls have become obsessed with a term called “emotional value.”
What is emotional value?
It’s the satisfaction, trust, and happiness a man or a relationship can provide you. When you are with this man, you will be respected, appreciated, and praised. As a result, you will be able to experience joy and satisfaction psychologically.
You will find that his sincere or insincere compliments are like sweet bullets, making you unable to resist and wanting more.
But girls, when you fall in love, you must be careful of one thing: the emotional value trap. When you have enjoyed the emotional value he provides, and you find yourself unable to resist his unconditional compliance and flattery, he may suddenly start to become aloof or even ignore you.
You will find that his inexplicable changes will trigger negative emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment in you, even leading to self-doubt.
Did I not do well enough? Did I do something wrong?…
So, you either exhaust yourself trying to change, sacrificing your own bottom line and dignity, or you exhaust yourself trying to change him, wanting to turn him back into the person who used to be completely devoted to you.
Therefore, you either lower yourself in this relationship, becoming a girl who looks up to and obeys him, or you get caught in the pain and confusion of why he changed, feeling miserable all day long.
In either case, you will slowly realize that you have become a girl that you don’t even like.
In fact, such men are everywhere in life and have been portrayed in many movies and TV shows.
Just like Fang Xiawen in the popular TV series “The Rose’s Story” this year, the barrage comments from netizens refer to him as a vile person, showing how detested a man like him can be.
Rose, who was admitted to Fudan University as a psychology graduate student, caught Fang Xiawen’s eye on her first day at the school because of her outstanding appearance.
So, he made great efforts to get close to Rose, working with her as a waiter at the German beer pub where she worked, acting as a hero when she was troubled by customers.
Rose adopted a stray cat, and to please Rose, who cared for the cat, he immediately rented a house despite his poor financial situation, just to give that cat a home.
In front of Rose, he tried to appear obedient and understanding, plus his “casual” compliments and affinity made the recently separated and distraught Rose feel respected, appreciated, and liked again.
Therefore, Rose slowly fell into the emotional trap set by Fang Xiawen and eventually entered into marriage with him.
However, after marriage, Fang Xiawen seemed like a completely different person. His sense of inferiority in front of Rose made him suspicious and he tried hard to confine Rose at home, wanting her to be a housewife who revolved around him.
Finally, Rose woke up from her illusions and asked for a divorce.
Many girls always hold onto fantasies about love, imagining that there will be a man in this world who will always love them, always obey them, and make them feel happy every moment.
But life is not a fairy tale, and the story where the prince always loves the princess will not easily unfold.
Even the people who love you the most, your parents, will occasionally show negative emotions towards you, let alone a man you’ve only recently met.
Just like He Jiong said:
“If you suddenly meet someone who fits you perfectly, you must be careful.”
“If you suddenly meet someone who fits you perfectly, you must be careful.”
There is never a perfect person in this world. If someone always restrains their emotions, tries too hard to please you, then that is surely an illusion.
You must understand that the so-called emotional value is not about how many fancy meals, shopping trips, or movies he accompanies you to, or how many alleys he runs down to buy your favorite bubble tea, or how many bus stops he travels to see you.
Because sharing meals, shopping, and watching movies with you also bring him joy and satisfaction, and running down alleys or traveling to see you are not particularly difficult tasks for him.
To know if a man truly loves you, you shouldn’t just look at whether he can provide you with emotional value, but whether he is willing to sacrifice his interests to satisfy yours, whether he will step into the darkness to pull you out when you are in a difficult situation.
Psychologist Jung said:
“Those who look outward are dreaming, only those who look inward are awake.”
“Those who look outward are dreaming, only those who look inward are awake.”
Girls, instead of always wanting unrealistic wishes and emotional value and love from a man, what you need to do is seriously examine your inner self.
To make a man love you for a long time, you must learn to have a “stable core.”
How to make a man deeply attached to you? Achieve these 4 points.
How to make a man love you and not leave you, learn the “Gagnek Effect.”
